Bill Fisher played the role of Journeyman Paul's biological father on this, the Drew Fisher go round. Bill made use of a human body on planet Earth from May 20, 1934 to August 31, 2001. For 67 years he played within the rules and confines of the human condition. I really don't know whether or not he had fun, whether he succeeded in achieving the goals he and his spirit team set forth when he chose the Bill Fisher vehicle or not. I really have no idea! I hope so. I do know that when the Twin Towers were destroyed on 9/11, less than two weeks after my father's passing, my very first thoughts in reaction to the televised images were, "Dad! What are you up to now!" Not because Bill Fisher was a bad man. He wasn't even very mischievous. I think my reaction was more an unconscious acknowledgement of the fact that in his new-found freedom he was as free to be as creative as he wanted to be--to join in on any project he might want to. Maybe causing a little mayhem in our world would be fun for him and his spirit gang! It certainly caused quite a stir in our little world!
At Bill Fisher's funeral mass I was the only eulogist. I remember how worried my family was about what I might say. Even I worried! My dad had had some character traits and "skeletons in his closet" that had caused some challenging circumstances for those who lived with and associated with him. I remember the first draft of my speech was filled with such bitterness, such blame and negativity! But by the time I arrived at my final version--the one I gave at the service--I had become convinced that my dad was an angel. I realized that that simple man, that "plumber born with a silver spoon in his mouth," had performed miracles, daily, for many people in his world.
Bill Fisher was a large, awkward, gawky, man who lumbered around with the goofiest, most disarming grin on his face everywhere he went. He presented that kind of odd apparition that caused everyone whose space he entered to momentarily forget their own selves, forget their own troubles and worries, to smile or even laugh at this goofy looking man. What a gift that is: to be taken out of your own self-centeredness--to be distracted from your worries and woes--if only for a few moments. This is the effect my dad had on people.
I, Drew Fisher, am the first born in my brood. I am also my father's namesake--the bearer of a treasured family name dating back to my father's grandfather--whom Bill Fisher adored. Yes, I chose a blue blooded family of privilege in a society of extraordinary privilege and ease. And yet, I never felt comfortable there. I'm not sure my father ever did either. I was always questioning the cornucopia passed my way, always feeling a bit undeserving or ashamed of the bounties and comforts I received. "What had I done to deserve--to earn this?" I was always asking myself.
Obviously, the window of opulence and privilege allowed me to see the other sides. It allowed me to have the freedom and leisure to be able to view other windows. Also, privilege and comfort--and health and education--afforded me with myriad choices that other humans have trouble seeing or realizing. Though I've always wondered at the way things have always magically seemed to fall into place in my life--laughingly said that I must have had a tough past life in order to have earned this life of comfort and ease--I also realize that I may have chosen this life of low suffering and oppression in order to be able to afford the time to attend to my Self-awareness and spiritual growth.
Bill Fisher was the most prominent, nay, primary male role model. Though I grew up knowing that I didn't want to "be like my dad," I see myself recreating many of his patterns, behaviors--even mannerisms--every day of my life--physically, emotionally, and probably mentally as well. But I also see that many of the behavior patterns that he modeled to me--that I observed and discovered--allowed me opportunities to choose otherwise. My father had an addictive personality. Which is no big deal because addiction is what our American way of life breeds most successfully. But my father's addictions caused him to only partially commit to being present in the Here and Now; they prevented him from being able to fully and truthfully commit to any intimate relationships. This pattern alone has been enormously instructive to me. It has affected my choices, consciously, and my mental awareness every single day of my adult life.
Another gift my father's choices gave to me was the boldness and confidence to make my own choices. Bill Fisher made choices for himself that others may not have agreed with--some of which came back to haunt him a bit. But he did establish a model of self-assured 'freedom' that imbued my own foray into adulthood. This, then, allowed me to more confidently pursue some of the independent avenues that I chose for my self--avenues that most certainly contributed greatly to the spiritual awakening, Self awareness, and spiritual pursuits that have so joyfully filled my life. Things like higher education, travel, and time spent in near total dedication to exploring my own creativity.
There are so many nuanced traits and events from my father's life and example that have affected me as to be too numerous to list. Suffice it to say that this troubled man whose addictive behaviors may have side-tracked him from ever establishing his own spiritual path was able to reflect one kind of life path, one kind of life choice to me and many others. Some may feel attracted to or enamored of his choices, his story, his life of privilege. Others may have used his life to help them define other choices for themselves. I say over and over, from a spiritual perspective I see no reason for family loyalty to birth family members or the ties of bondage I see individuals stay bound to over the course of their lifetimes. The role of parents is to expose young humans to experiences that both support and test their physical and psychological strength and commitment to the Earth School experience. Rarely is this done consciously. Most often this is perpetuation of patterns from families and societies and other four-dimensional interrelationships. As a father I felt it my job to try to provide safe, healthy environments for the young humans who had chosen me. But at the same time, I know that I have established patterns of strengths and weaknesses that the Monads who chose to come into my home as my children were equally aware of--that they were choosing to expose themselves to for very specific learning and growth challenges and purposes. To deny another human pain and suffering when that may in fact be exactly what that Monad had ordained for their life experience in order to have the chance of meeting or growing beyond the goals and objectives they had set forth for this Earth incarnation is arrogant and selfish. Likewise, I saw it as my duty to back off and allow the individuals in my bloodline to experience things for themselves--to make decisions knowing that the consequences might have been risky, negative, or even dangerous. There are consequences--effects--from any and every choice one makes. Some choices are more conservative, may seem more "safe," and yet the long term consequences of always choosing safe, conservative options can have equally tremendous effects later on.
One trend that has become endemic to our American and Western culture is the imprisonment of young humans into structures and expectations of "childhood" for periods far longer than is necessary, normal, or healthy. In most cultures every able person over the age of seven years is actively contributing to the social fabric in very real and vital ways. Not in America. We have been trained to remain dependent children for three or four times the expected term of true "childhood." Whereas there the youth used to find apprenticeships, adventure, and, for women, marriage as soon as they were able to bear children, now we have "adolescence." The teenager is forced to serve a prison sentence in which there is a period of sustained stewing in the collective stew of hormonal juices, in which they are forced to expend their tremendous stores of creative energy on competitive pursuits like sports and grades and dating, where they are forced to learn incredibly tedious and boring things which have absolutely no use or relationship to adult living for interminably long, drawn out periods of time, and where they are forced to subject themselves to externally imposed assignations of provisional and contingent self-worth according to the whims of other "experts," "authorities," and bullies of our system of social stratification. It is brutal, unnatural, and numbing. It is the reason--and period in which we experiment with and find our primary and secondary addictions. (Addictions are important keys to control of the masses as they promote distraction, self-consciousness, self-doubt and, fear [of being caught], need for income [and/or debt], and increased dependency--all of which distract or disable the individual from standing up against the injustices of their slave-masters and the authoritarian system enslaving them.)
Since I was a child there has developed an additional period of childhood dependence in which the so-called "education" experience is extended for the "finding oneself" period of the late teens and early twenties. This is the period where you either get used to working for The Man and begin to enslave yourself to Him for the rest of your life through job, mortgage, and other forms of debt, or you learn to lead a subsistence "off the map" life in order to try to stay out of the sights of The Man.
Today's humans are purposely trained to get used to a state of perpetual dependency--of never thinking for themselves, of relying on other so-called "experts" and "bosses" and "authorities" for dictating their choices. To choose otherwise--to choose independence--is unusual, abnormal, and resented by the brainwashed masses. In many respects Bill Fisher was a product of his society, a product of his conditioning, a desirable outcome of the social programming of the scheming Elite. Despite my best intentions and attempts, my own children are also very much unconsciously ensconced within the flow and fabric of mainstream society. Yet, thanks to Bill Fisher and his amazing wife, my mother, they have options, they have opportunities to get out. But, again, the choice is theirs and theirs alone. And with every choice they make, they will always be granted other choices, over and over and over and over . . . There is never a right or a wrong choice. Each and every choice brings with it myriad opportunities for learning. Some lessons get learned, some get missed. There is no right or wrong. This is another of the wonderful gifts to me of the legacy of Bill Fisher. There is never any right or wrong. There is only choice. Perpetual choice.
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