After the incarnation as a Romeo-like scribe in Ancient Egypt in planet Earth's Western Hemisphere, Journeyman Paul decided to take a change of scenery, to experience a different environment of cultural and moral values and beliefs. What ensued was a succession of lifetimes spent in a variety of religious-oriented monastic communities in Asia. Born into typically agrarian and sometimes merchant families, Paul ended up in these religious communities sometimes through his own choice, sometimes by choice of his parents or family, sometimes through destitution or crime, a time or two through "tulku" or the process of seeking and recognizing souls that have reincarnated from previously known persons. Many of these lives were brief; a few were long and esteemed.
Not all of these lifetimes were spent in actual monasteries. Paul also dabbled in varying degrees of asceticism, both mountain yogi and nomadic and urban mendicant. Ever the serious student, Paul's purpose and hope were, of course, to have a better chance of overcoming the Ego-trappings of the physical and emotional realms--to avoid the arrogance and prejudices of upper, superior classiness and its inherent entitlements to certain material and emotional comforts and privileges. By living in conditions ranging from abject poverty to the relative comfort of monastic simplicity Paul thought he might better experience, learn and value detachment and thus more easily conquer the trap pins of the Ego/Personality. I'm sure that he also thought he would be making up for the excesses he perceived that he had lived and to which he worried that he had formed overly strong attachments in other lives.
Consequently, some of the spillover into this current Earth foray as Drew Fisher include a comforting familiarity and subtle draw or longing for solitary, monastic lifestyles as well as to out-of-doors, nature-based living spaces, and an ease and familiarity with meditation--in many forms. There is also present a kind of disinterest in ritual and all things with singular systems or paths. Even though I enjoy and appreciate the beauty and discipline of ritual and that of iconography and religious art and architecture, I do not feel drawn to be a participant in such--especially if it feels unnatural or forced upon me. This is true for music as well: I can feel the influence and effect of music--the way music and all religious art can be used to uplift the soul, to aspire toward transcendent states of consciousness, but I also recognize that these are tools--and that sometimes these tools are too sophisticated and too elaborate--"overkill" as they say--and that there are means to transcendent or detached states of consciousness that are simpler, more immediate, more like the switching of a switch.
I love darkness. I love isolation and solitude. I love silence. I love time and space for thinking, for 'daydreaming.' I love the repetitious background sounds of drone music. I love Indian music. I love Gregorian chant. I love and feel the effects of chimes, bells, gongs, drums, and 'singing' bowls. I lack any kind of aptitude or memory for words and lyrics; my capacity for memorization and quotation have been near nil my entire life. I like being told what to do. I like continually expanding my thinking, hearing new information and trying to accommodate and assimilate it, always drawn to more, to new, to expansion and not growing stagnant or stale. I especially enjoy having and taking the time for ruminating over abstract concepts and for allowing my imagination to roam. I find my own creativity to be the source of the most rewarding, transcendent moments of my life.
Whether or not all of these qualities come from patterns established during monastic lifetimes is immaterial. Though the specifics of these Asian monastic lives have not been revealed in detail to me, I am quite certain of their presence in Paul's development, and, at some level it makes sense to me, it fits, that these patterns come from the experiences of these lifetimes.
At the same time that these kind of lifestyle choices feel so familiar and comfortable--so easy--I am also able to find that center of detachment from them quite easily. A kind of "Been there, done that" kind of thinking.
I am guessing that there are two main reasons for the lack of detail and specifics in my recollections of these lifetimes. First, the draw to monastic living is now so comfortable and powerful to me that Paul wants to avoid returning there; he knows that his potential for growth is now much greater when working with people, in real time relationships in secular society--and that there are challenges and lessons to be learned that require risk and adversity, conflict and diversity. Thus he is allowing less detailed information about those monastic lifetimes to filter into my consciousness so that I have no further fuel to ignite the urges to run away or escape.
Throughout this Drew Fisher life I have found myself repeatedly drawn to the 'imagined' ease and comfort of life of solitude, of monastic conditions. However, each time this has occurred there has arisen a voice from deep within me to remind me, "No, you've done that. Your lessons are through being with people." And I have listened. I have 'put myself out there' when my Ego/Personality is telling me to retreat, to go into isolation--which I have still managed to do a great deal as I have recognized the self-healing powers that my "cave time" affords me. Alone I can 'heal' and recharge, ready myself for another foray out into 'the jungle' of social interactivity.
The second reason that I believe Journeyman Paul has not found it useful to reveal much information to me about his Asian monastic lifetimes is that that information has little or no value or relevance to the choices and decisions he had planned for me in this Drew Fisher lifetime. I already feel attracted to the ideals and "comforts" of solitary, monastic life, so, denying me any more information serves (hopefully) to remove any information that could further fuel my desire/yearnings to choose those types of living situations. Also, it denies my brain the clutter that could cloud my ability to hear the Voice of Soul that reminds and urges me to continue choosing society at large for my learning environment.
Through the use of monasticism and devotion to ritual and ideas Paul's desire to boost the development of self-confidence and strengthen the flow of will were satisfied. Eventually he made the decision to return to more diverse social immersion in order to test himself against the snares of power and materialism. The next lifetime of which I have been given memory is that of a Roman Senator in the time of the Roman Republic, Second Century BCE, approximately one hundred years before the birth of Julius Caesar.
No comments:
Post a Comment