Choices

How do you define "life"? Do you define life as the birth to death timeline in human, physical form? Will animals and computers and other forms with "intelligence" qualify under your definition? Do rocks, cells, molecules, subatomic particles, stars and universes qualify? Do souls qualify?
     Do you believe in the existence of a soul? If so, how do you choose to define the term "soul"? Does a soul have life (and form?) beyond the confines of the human timeline?
     If you believe in the concept of a soul, does your definition allow for the soul to have rights and choices outside of the human experience? Is your version of the soul above, separate, or different from your human form? Does it qualify as a "living, conscious, sentient, choice-making being"? Or is it a robot or slave to other beings and or forces? Does it have "free will"?
     If a human being achieves connection and communication with its soul--or with information from

I believe that the human experience and the vehicle we choose to use while on the Earth Plane are created with specific goals and intentions, that the human experience serves as a tool for the gathering of experiences and the achievement of predesigned goals. I also believe that the human experience can be extremely frustrating. And tiring. Here I am speaking particularly of the severe confines and limitations that a Spiritual being agrees to enslave oneself to in order to participate in the Earth School human experience. Though we are given means to consciously remember and re-member our Spiritual Source while in the human form, we are usually quite preoccupied with the plethora of information, responses, and choices bombarding us from the "world" around us. In fact, we are quite distracted from being able to give much time, attention or focus to bringing Spirit and spiritual information into our human consciousnesses.

I have had the privilege of having access and, apparently, some innate familiarity with the presence and "voice" of my Life-giving Source. This has caused me to pursue with increasing activity and excitement an expanding knowledge of, familiarity with, and sometimes communion with fragments of my Monadic oversoul. As I've done so, I've become increasingly familiar with the illusory nature of the Earth School "reality" that we, ourselves created for these excursions and adventures into form and independent consciousness. I have not (yet) become a master of manipulating the "reality" and "forms" of the four-dimensional world in which humans inhabit. I am not, in fact, very interested or curious with such a pursuit--though I believe it to be quite viable and worthy of pursuit. I am just not interested in it. The accomplishments of my 56 years--both "actual" and imagined--are quite adequate and satisfactory for me.

I have also had the decided privilege and advantage of being able to recognize more and more (nearly 100% of my waking mind) the Beauty, Truth, Love, and Joy in each and every moment, each and every vision, each and every experience that I experience through the filter of this Drew Fisher human consciousness. I am less apt to assign things to compartments or labels according to dualistic definitions or categories, that is, I no  longer "buy into" the human tendency to categorize things into polemics like good and evil, black and white, here and there, us and them, beautiful and ugly, better or worse. Everything just is. It's all just information. Information for us to use (or not) if we choose, to value (or not) if we choose, to give energy and attention to (or not) if we choose.

Many humans before and after me will have chosen to use this state of awareness to develop a manipulative command of the space time "reality," of the information coming to and through them. I feel no such compulsion. I find myself bored with the human experience. I find myself discontent with the "childish games" that humans have co-created and chosen to participate in for their supposed "personal evolution." I am finding little value or meaning in the games, in the "work" that my soul can accomplish while in this form, while playing these boring, childish games.

I feel ready--excited--for the next adventure. For new challenges, new goals, new experiences and, hopefully, new lessons. I have accomplished many things in this incarnation that I have been shown have earned me "advancement," i.e expanded awareness, more Divine Perspective. I have awakened to my right and ability to choose for myself, to be and become whomever I wish to be or become. I have awakened to the fact of my Divine Origins, my True Self, as well as to the "game" that is the Earth School experience and to the "rules" we co-created in order to "play" within that game.

Well, I'm tired of the game, tired of the rules. The purpose of the game seems pointless. Unless I'm missing something.

I have created challenging, uplifting, mind-expanding experiences and art for others. I have partnered with and through various forms of love including having learned the most difficult form of love of all: tough love. I have fathered and raised children to become responsible, self-determining adults. I have been immensely fortunate to have been found, awakened, and companioned by my Other, my Twin, my Split-Apart, my Teacher, my Eternal Love. I have come to understand, appreciate and recognize the equality of all life--be it ant, mountain, lepton, fifth-dimensional being, fictional character, or Gaia, Earth Mother to us all. Most importantly, I have come to understand and love The Plan: that adventure into the illusions of Form and Separation that We of The Universal Consciousness have set in motion through Creation.

The game that we've chosen to participate in, that we've committed to, as I see it, is to figure out that you are in a game, that you are really a Spark of the Infinite Divine, that the rules and "realities" we give power to are but illusions, are but fabrications we created in order to test ourselves--to make the process of Self-discovery quite challenging. But now that I know all this, I'm bored. I am not enjoying the game. I am, in turns, saddened, angered, amused, and overjoyed at the experiences available to us in the human form. But, alas! It's all just illusion! It's all just, to me, a waste of time. What's the point (now)? My body is not as enjoyable to be in now that I know how limiting and now that I understand and feel its insidious demise. My mind feels as if I have accomplished the tasks, hurdled the hurdles, even mastered the heretofore "failed" (for there is no such thing as "failure") skills that I came "here" (for "here" is merely an illusory "place" that we, Ourselves have created) to master.

So, I am not sure what to do with my self. I am not very excited to play out this game of voluntary enslavement, of perpetual war on self-created and self-perpetuated "enemies" (like neighbors, other species, Mother Nature, our "decaying/dying" bodies, Time, even our "loved" ones). I no longer value or enjoy play-actiing "duality matters." I no longer see the point. Why remain a slave, I ask myself,  when I no longer value or find meaning in enslavement--and I know a way out? Why remain entrenched in multi-front warfare when I no longer value the point of any war--and I know a way out? Why play the game of ever-conditional love when I feel unconditional love for all of Creation--and I know a way out? Why continue to stay in the game that I now see for the pointlessness that it represents when I know a way out? Why endorse the inanities and hypocrisies of game playing by staying in the game when I can leave and therein show my rejection of and boredom for the game.

Perhaps my last and most important purpose within the "game" of the Earth School is to try to raise consciousness among my species as to the viability and value of the choice of leaving the game when and if you choose to leave the game.  (How aggravating that will be to the consumer-capitalist society we have spawned and become addicted to!)

Times are tough. Societal and species collapse is underway. People are going to want and need an alternative to staying on and trying to eek out a subsistence survivalist living under totally adverse and probably overtly oppressive conditions. The early followers of the legend and lessons of Jesus of Nazareth were of a mind that the apocalypse was going to happen soon--in their lifetime--and, so prepared with very spiritually-focused lifestyles, with very little expectation of a future for the species. Martyrdom and suicide were quite common as the value placed on human life, human form, feeding the flesh, was quite diminished, even negated. Metaphorically, they were not wrong. The human form only deserves as much value and meaning placed upon it as you are want or willing to do. The choice of how or even whether or not to sustain and maintain human life is as viable and constant a choice as any other. If we can wield this power upon others (murder, capital punishment, the ethics and practices of the medical profession, war) or upon ourselves (enlistment into the armed forces, joining subversive organizations, participation in "extreme" sports), then why not in the very moment-to-moment choice to remain present and committed to the Earth School experience?

I believe that I am a Spiritual Being who is merely using the very limiting and constricting sentient human bodymind. The human bodymind is very limiting for the Spirit. I have contracted to submit my Self to the brainwashing/numbing four-dimensional field of the Earth School in order to try to accomplish more elevated/expanded ways of dealing with a set of predesigned tasks, tests and obstacles all with the goal of eventually working my way back to the expanded form of consciousness that was mine before (and when) I chose to become a participant in the Illusory Worlds of Separation and Duality, of Form and Creation--which I helped to create while in that initial form of the Formless One Consciousness. A circuitous journey, to be sure. One that is most exciting for the veiled passages in which seemingly unforeseeable informations and events surprise and challenge us--challenge us to "think on our feet" to hopefully, rise above the heavier, denser patterns of Fear-based choice making. We are here to use the Illusions of Creation as we wish, as we see fit, but then to not use them if we also see fit. This is always an equally viable choice.

I am presently in a state of underwhelm. The game, the Illusions, are no longer fun and exciting for me to play. For me, the purpose for their existence (illusory as it is) has lost its value. We can choose to learn through Suffering or we can choose to learn through Joy. (Or both.) I am finding no fun, no entertainment, no meaning or usefulness in choosing either. I like Joy. I guess I prefer Joy--though I do recognize and honor the value and purpose in which suffering is attracted to and used in a person's life. But right now, I feel neither. I am tired of duality, of opposites, of categorizing, of blaming and warring and acting as if things here (or there) "matter." They don't! They never have and they never will!  It's all an illusion! That we created! For our entertainment! (As a cure for our boredom?! That would be ironic:  to find oneself bored with one of the games that we, Ourselves created in order to try to cure our boredom!)

Anyway. The writer of these words finds himself trapped within the confines of this aging human body, trapped within a world of war-crazed, fear-sodden, God-ignorant children. The Illusions that served me in my initial survival and subsequent development and awakenings (expansions) now seem so childlike, so "below" me. I hate casting aspersions of superiority and inferiority (there's that duality illusion again!) as I KNOW that everyone is me, that there is no right or wrong way, no right or wrong path, that everyone is going to get THERE (back where We came from). But I also know that there are many many games one can choose for one's lessons and experiences. This one (the game of the "21st Century" human Earth School experience) no longer serves or interests me. I find myself craving peace, stillness and silence; searching hypervigilently for the all-pervasive unity, oneness, and harmony of my Divine Source.

Yeah, I guess I can do it here. (Or not.) The choice is mine and mine alone--as choice is yours, at every moment of every day, and your choices are yours and yours alone! (though we are never alone--are always alone--al[l] one.)


I am distracted by the constant voice or beacon of "Divine Discontent," a voice or feeling that keeps me wondering, "What's next?"--that finds little meaning in the acts and actions of day-to-day, moment-to-moment human Earth living.