Why did YOU choose to come to Earth?

Before I enter into a series of posts regarding the metaphoric symbolism of everything in our lives, I want to take a moment to remind you of the main reason I'm doing this blog:  As a species, we don't have long on this planet. If climate scientists, Sam Carana, Guy MacPherson, and Christopher Hedges are on track, we who are still present and healthy on planet Earth in the year 2015 are in for some very challenging times in the next few years. I am interested in not only preparing you for these times but also making sure that you know some of your options, your choices, your possible perspectives for the coming years.
     We should all be asking ourselves some big questions, like, Why did I choose this Earth incarnation? Why did I choose Earth? Why Homo sapiens sapiens? Why the "21st Century"? Why this country? this community? this family?
     Imagine you are a spirit being in the Monadic Kingdom and you have literally infinite choices as to where and how you will seek your adventures and experiences, how you will spend your time, what kind of learning you feel you need to do, and who you'd like to work with. You could choose material-based, time-based, emotion-based, mental-based, multi-dimensional-based and many, many spiritual-based perspectives and forms from which to encounter your test goals and objectives. But, you chose Earth. Not "Mars," not "Jupiter," "Gx24," "Europa," "Sol," "Polaris," "Andromeda," "NGC 1300," "Crab Nebula" "asteroid Thisbe," or some other Universe or celestial being beyond our human knowing. You chose Homo sapiens sapiens, not Neandertals, Cro-magnon, astralopithicus, Homo erectus, "Giant" or "Atlantean," "Grey" or "Reptillian," or any of the many species of homonids that pre- (and post-) date our own. You chose Homo sapiens sapiens. And you choose this time that we Anglo-centric Homo sapiens sapiens have chosen to call "the 21st Century."
     Why? What are the attractions? What are the specific lessons these certain, very specific set of circumstances offer to you for your growth, for your Self-testing and potential Self-realization?
     Obviously, the challenge of overcoming the tremendously handicapping contextual field of "emotions" was one of the primary motivations for your choice to come here. But why? Had you heard about it and felt drawn by the excitement, the challenge, the adrenaline, the severity of the test? Or, had you been here before and felt you had some "mistakes" or "unfinished business" to re-do or refine? Or had you been here before and gotten trapped Self-identifying within some of the many illusions that we created to make this place more interesting, more challenging? Are you "addicted" to the emotional context, the thrills and challenges, the adrenaline rush, the game of chance, as a gambler is? Or are you here as part of a service contract to another member of your Soul Family or members of your Soul Community? Or are you here as part of a self-imposed "penance" for "failures" or "mistakes" in past lives.
     There are many, many reasons one could have made to come to planet Earth at this time. I have only named a few general categories. Hopefully you are hearing enough of the beacon of the Voice of your Soul to be questioning the significance and meaning of your presence, the goings-on around you, and the choices and patterns you have acquired, the challenges you have attracted to your self, and the infinite spectrum of choices you have before you at each and every moment. That is my hope for you. That is the reason I write these posts. To provoke you to think a little differently than you may have before. I hope I am succeeding in my task.
     Should you have any doubts about my starting premise--that Homo sapiens sapiens has little time left on planet Earth--I beseech you to do your research. Seek out the writings, videos, blogs, websites of Guy MacPherson, Christopher Hedges, Sam Carana, Near-Term Human Extinction, Andrew Harvey, Michael C. Ruppert, Naomi Klein, Carolyn Baker, and even Anthony Watts to get some well-presented information.
     I especially beg and urge all of you to read Christopher Hedges' numbing portrait of the state of the world--including his perspective of that which is coming, that which is already in progress, and that which is virtually inevitable. You can find it in his Truth Dig article, "The Great Unravelling."

http://www.truthdig.com/report/item/the_great_unraveling_20150830.

Then I want you to do an immediate assessment on yourself to discover where your emotional instincts lie: How does this article make you feel? Do you feel incensed? Excited? Argumentative? Numb and disbelieving? Distrusting? Disgusted? Ready to take up arms--ready to fight? Elated? Relieved? Surprised? Confused? Betrayed? Hopeless? Hopeful? How did you find your emotions and psychological state shifting during the reading of it? How do you find yourself thinking and feeling as you distance yourself from it? Are you rising above? Letting go? Retreating into a numb world of denial? Hanging on to anger and fear?

     As signs of the coming battle become more prominent and the fact of "class conflict" (i.e., the armies of the wealthy elite versus the dispossessed 99.9%) become more evident, what course of action do you see yourself choosing? Will you continue to be the willing slave to the wealthy elite, serving them in numb supplication, or will you rise up in arms against their oppression and greed? Or will you try to hide--to remain invisible and self-sufficient? Or will you be a willing submissive victim--fodder for the rapid depopulation of the human species?

    The essence of it all comes down to the question, Will you succumb to the forces and motivation of fear and anger or will you be able to remain passive and detached? Do you have the spiritual confidence to dispassionately allow things to unfold as they will knowing full well that your human life is in danger at each and every minute or will you fight for every last minute of breath and sensual input you can earn for your self?
     These and many, many questions will arise for you within the next ten to fifteen years. It is my hope that these blogposts will help make you better prepared for them--that you will be better able to make informed choices of action when confronted by them. Then you can really take advantage of the real reasons why you chose a human bodymind on planet Earth at this time.


   

Drew's Grand Theory of Descending Evolution, Part 3: Historical Pretexts

In two of my recent blogposts I spent quite a bit of time trying to establish the basis for a theory that I've been developing which supposes that the role of Homo sapiens sapiens and the current Earth School experience is to create increasingly deeper or increasingly distant degrees of separation from the Original State of Pure Consciousness. The spiritual beings of the Monadic Kingdom have in fact created this contextual field for the express purpose of testing themselves--of testing their ability to work within and rise above the thick veils of ignorance that exist while occupying the vehicles of 21st Century human civilization. I have even gone so far as to posit a theory that this ever-deepening spiral of descent into the Illusion of Separation is possibly being spurred on by an Earth-borne dis-ease--by an addiction to the machismo, adrenaline-pumping, thrill seeking psychosis so common to Earth-based humans.
     I believe that the Earth-using element of the Monadic Kingdom has entangled itself within a web of obsessive desire through the repetitive use of the emotion-based sensory-dominant human experience and that the weight of the baggage that comes with these experiences hangs on and accrues without proper separation, perspective, processing, and distance. I know from Journeyman Paul's own experience that the weightiness of the improperly processed emotional baggage accrued over several lifetimes of perceived "failure" and "regret" led to the need for a great deal of time and work in order to fully process and let go of. The dross of the Earth-based human experiences can be unknowingly carried with the Soul and can cloud his or her perceptions even when "done" with the human incarnation--even when "home" within the Spirit World. This cloud of misperception can then cloud one's judgment in preparation for one's next adventure.


HISTORICAL PRETEXTS IN SUPPORT OF A THEORY OF DESCENDING EVOLUTION

Drew Fisher. Obviously Drew Fisher is not a genius. I am not blazing intellectual or theoretical pathways that others before me haven't already travelled. I'm just blazing them, for the first time, for myself. So, "Drew's Grand Theory of Descending Evolution" is really not Drew's. And it's probably not even very grand. Since coming up with this title, however, I've been excited to find myself stumbling upon more and more information that seems to support my current and evolving "theory" of descending evolution.

Rumi. Once I believed as Persian mystic poet Jalāl ad-Dīn Muḥammad Balkhī, or, as we Westerns refer to him, Rumi (meaning "Roman"), that all humans are hardwired to work toward God-return. Rumi believed that we humans are animated by fragments of God and that we have worked our way through an ascending hierarchy of physical media--mineral, plant, animal, and human--through many incarnations and that now, as humans, it is our duty and design to try to ascend above our animal nature and achieve reunion with our original Self, that is, with God.
     I now believe that there is more choice available to we "individuals" using the human instrument--that we do not have to be in any hurry to reach the "end goal" of reunion with God. There are other options; other experiences and "tests" available to we who choose adventure and excitement as our means to spiritual evolution.

"Devolution" v. "Descending Evolution" Originally I had proposed this theory of mine as a theory of "devolution." But, upon further research, I found out that the concept of evolution places no value much less a hierarchical value upon progress or regress, upon complexity versus simplicity. Evolution is only concerned with change and adaptation in the process of natural selectivity for species life. Evolution has no concern for success or failure. 99% of all life species that have ever lived on planet Earth are now extinct. Therefore, devolution has no real meaning. It is a moot topic.
     It turns out that what I am really concerned with is the descending or deepening path of Ignorance and distraction that spirits are subjecting themselves to when choosing "modern day" human hosts. It has become my belief that we of the Monadic Kingdom have purposely advanced this deepened veil of Ignorance in order to heighten the thrill of the adventure attached to human experience.

Rudolf Steiner. According to anthropologist and occult scientist Rudolf Steiner--who was writing over 100 years ago--Homo sapiens sapiens has been on a purposeful evolution away from spiritual advancement into an increasingly denser commitment to the physical-material world since before the time of the pyramid builders. This makes perfect sense to me as the technologies used to build, much less use, the world's grid of pyramids are not only lost but irretrievable to us in our current capacity for understanding. (Which, to my mind, indicates quite clearly that there were intelligent species using the planet before Homo sapiens sapiens came into his own. Heck! These predecessors may, in fact, have been the ones who trained us, gave us "gifts" of information, or even planted our species here! [Think: Arthur C. Clarke's 1 x 4 x 9 monoliths.])
     Steiner, the founder of Anthroposophy, Waldorf education and Biodynamic agricultural, among other things, traced this evolutionary "densification" [my term] back to the earliest more spiritually attuned cultures in history. In Ancient Egypt, he posits, spiritual work was more of an ubiquitous element of daily life and living; the material/physical were used as simple tools for the true consciousness of our being. Their real work was being done on mental and spiritual levels. Also, they may have been using this time period for getting used to this new form and its abilities and limitations. Thus the short life spans.
     "Backwards" evolution can be traced from more spiritual-minded Egypt to Classical Greece and onwards in a descending slope through Imperial Rome, through the low points of recent control of spirituality within the Roman Catholic Church even into the ironically labeled Renaissance, Reformation, Age of Enlightenment, Rise of the Nation-State, Industrial Revolution, and current Globalization Revolution. Each phase of civilization since the Egyptian time of the pyramids has proven to be less spiritually focused, less reliant on spiritual information and spiritual law for its wisdom, guidance, healing, and governance and more detached from awareness and acknowledgement of the presence of a spiritual essence in life and living things. Members of the Monadic Kingdom investing their time and energy into Homo sapiens sapiens throughout this flow of history were perfecting and deepening this young species' true potential for darkness and depravity.  

     The "evolution" that Huxley, Darwin, Wallace, and Lamarck referred to is, of course, of a physical progression. "Survival of the fittest" applies to physical survival, to the ability to perpetuate physical, biological species. Darwin's "Theory of Evolution" has led humans to learn to use their consciousness to manipulate their surroundings and resources with fear and control as their motivators. When love is the motivator there is no fear of death, there is no competition, there is no violence, there are no destructive and self-destructive behaviors, addictions and codependencies, there is no need to control others or to control one's resources. When love is the motivator there is only calm confidence and faith in the interconnected needs of all things and the recognition of the oneness, the interconnectedness, of all things, the permanence of life and consciousness, the illusory nature of the physical world. With fear as the prime motivator all kinds of 'evil' and havoc are possible.

Esoteric Healing. I have been a student and practitioner of Esoteric Healing for almost 20 years now. As a practitioner of Esoteric Healing's "structured prayer" I work within biodynamic energy fields. Using the scientific practices and anatomy or 'architecture' of the Esoteric Healing knowledge base for my reference point, I can assess the levels of awareness, development, or 'awakeness' that a person has achieved in terms of recognizing and using spiritual law and spiritual information while veiled and confined in the murky ignorance of four-dimensional 21st Century human being. Many souls who commit to human bodyminds as test vehicles never fully 'awaken' to their spiritual/Godly source much less to the powers that arise from that awareness. Fear, separation, automation, resignation, Ego/Personality, obedience and supplication are much of what these "unawakened" souls experience for the entirety of their human incarnations. Those who do awaken to the Inner Beacon of Light, Love, Knowledge, Wisdom, Will and Power may progress through the challenging stages of development. Breaking through one barrier of belief construct that proves unnaturally illusory and confining, one may master the informations and laws of the four-dimensional Earth School experience--which will allow one to (re-)turn one's focus to learning and mastering spiritual information and spiritual law. But it is not the norm. Those who master Earth-bound law and manipulation of its information have the option of not returning to Earth School:  They can graduate! They have no more use for the "tests" that we have set forth in the form of the human experience. They can move on to mastering other perspectives of the Illusions, of dis-unity and dis-harmony and dis-ease, all in the effort to experience as many forms of the Illusions as possible.
     EVERYONE who chooses to come to Earth in a human bodymind has agreed to subject themselves to the rules and laws of the four-dimensional Earth-based human experience. As exposed above, I used to believe that each one of these individual entities desires and plans to be able to climb out of the murk of Ignorance toward the light of Higher Mind, Higher Knowledge, Love and Will. But, due to the severity of Earth's attractions, distractions, traps and trappings, many people are severely impeded from achieving these goals. They have become handicapped by the strength and complexity of the fabric of the cultural, societal and conditional constructs of the Ego/Personality, addicted to the glitz and glamor that is the physical-emotional world in which they have chosen to reside, or they have fallen under the spell of the constant flood of information bombarding their senses into believing that their Earth-based contextual field is real!
     Still, at the core of each individual human being resides an object--or maybe more accurately I should call this 'thing' a concept. The "Blue Pearl," it is called in Esoteric Healing. The Blue Pearl (or "Blue Dot," "Blue Flash," "Blue Disc," "Blue Sphere") is the physically imagined incarnation or metaphor for that Spark of The Divine, that Drop of The Great Ocean of Cosmic Consciousness, that Essence of Unified Nonduality, that (supposedly) animates all of us, every thing, every thought, every idea in Cosmic Creation.
     The Blue Pearl is that microcosmic reminder and microcosmic representative of the Oneness of All Things, of God Unity. To focus on the indestructible and immutable Blue Pearl, to identify with It instead of the human form that our Ego/Personality persuades us to identify with, is to identify with one's Godness. In this 'state' one does not value human life or Earth 'reality' in the same way as one does through the filters of the Ego/Personality. Experiencing the Earth School through the perspective of the Blue Pearl is like remembering that you are in a movie theater watching a movie:  you do not have to be attached to the events and emotions coming from the screen because you are not the movie. You are the observer. You do not have to think of yourself as a participant. The information appearing on screen is only for your use. If you wish.
     And yet, we have chosen to take on these human forms in this Earth School environment for a reason. Whether that reason is in order to test your Self or whether that goal has been lost in lieu of the addictive attraction to the thrills and excitement of the adventure is immaterial. We are here. We chose to be here. We can use the experience in whatever way we wish. BUT, your Monad, your Soul Family, your team of Spirit Community, Spirit Guides and Council of Wise Elders in the Spirit World may have placed a Plan inside you that is not in line with the patterns you are living. How do you know if this is the case? Disease. Pain. Suffering. Depression. These are the tools Souls use to try to awaken the Higher Mind, to try to remind our True Selves that We are not on the course that We had planned for our Earth School journey.
     The Higher Mind is quite wise and attuned to our Soul Plan but the power of the Ego/Personality patterns that are established in our youth as Homo sapiens sapiens are quite stultifying, quite challenging to unravel and breakdown once they have established ascendant control. That is one of the ingenious traps or obstacles that We of the Monadic Kingdom put in place in order to make this Homo sapiens sapiens experience so challenging. The Veil of the Illusion of Ignorance.

Recent Film and Literature

In his recent film, 2014's Lucy, writer-director Luc Besson posited the possibility that the more brain-power we humans tap into the less dependent we become on emotional and physical information, and then the less reliant we become on the physical and emotional bodies that we are using. This is because we would able to use and manipulate information--to put things in formation--in ways that benefit and connect us with different, larger communities instead of just the 'community' of our selves--of the cells and singular perspective of our human bodies. Thus, with greater brain use we would be feeling less confined to our bodies, our vehicles, less attached to our beliefs and fears, and more open to and connected with everything (that we formerly, errantly, thought was) around us. Using the belief and understanding that every thing, every definable entity in the Cosmos is in and of itself a point of consciousness, the limited, self-defining community of three trillion communing cells we call "the human body" suddenly becomes connected--and in open and full communication--with hundreds, millions, trillions, or an infinity of other sentient being "communities" and, thus, quite naturally, loses the "need" to self-define. Instead, one revels in the connection to and expanded perspective of an expanded contextual field of expanded community.
     This idea was also touched on by writer/director/producer Spike Jonze in his 2014 film,  Her  (which, curiously, also starred actress Scarlett Johansson). In Her, Jonze explores the idea that the cyber world offers a vastly expanded amount of information (which is constantly expanding--like a Universe in a Big Bang theory), and that information in this universe is available at instantaneous (speed of light) speeds, at all times.
     I first remember contemplating this possibility with the first TRON movie (1982) and with Daniel Simmons' science fiction series that began with his multiple award-winning novel,  Hyperion 
(1989). The cyber world is like an infinite system of highways and intersections or "nexuses"--which represent the singular pieces of information and their infinite ways of being connected to all other pieces of information. Each nexus point is like a single concept or a single piece of information, holding independent form and energy while remaining connected to the rest of the network by an infinite number of connecting highways--which provide connections to other nexus points in any and all directions and dimensions imaginable. Within this network one (one what? One thought or idea? one word or concept? one number or lack of number?) could be connected instantaneously to another piece of information--a thought, image, concept, idea or feeling--through this highway system or one could "veer" from the established "system" and create new "pathways" in order to connect pieces of information in new and different ways.

Choosing Between a Deepened or a Detached Commitment to Duality

The beings we organize ourselves into in order to use four-dimensional Earth's four-dimensional, emotion-based experience--which we call "humans"--are themselves devolved several (or many?) steps away from 100% or Pure Consciousness. To use the base-100 scale used in the film Lucy, we might say that while humans consciously use their brain capacity to access perhaps 5-10% of their Ultimate Potential, the spiritual entities with whom we identify when not occupying/using human or other four-dimensional vehicles--which I call 'Monads'--may be operating at, let's say, around 25-40%. Space and time are, obviously, useful to Monads but they are not always bound to linearities within space and time; that is, in the "Spirit World" Monads are able to bend, stretch, leap, rewind, fast-forward time and space--space and time are much more elastic, not so rigid as we humans perceive it. Monads have the advantage of an expanded awareness, an expanded consciousness of the interconnectedness of all things. And yet, not all Monads are focused on increasing that percentage of use of their Ultimate Potential. Not all Monads are working toward 100 percent, that is, toward God-return. Some Monads are more interested in testing themselves, testing their creative powers, exploring the infinitude of possibilities available to them within the realm of Cosmic Creation. And this is okay. This is fine because, as always, we have that magnificent gift of choice. Freedom of choice.

     Which means that, in the end, the outcome of my theoretical findings is the same as they've always been: We are in choice. Every conscious being in Creation--and remember, every thing in creation has consciousness in that it arises as a spark from the Pure Consciousness of the Divine--at every moment is faced with an infinite number of choices. This is why a lepton can in one instant be measured or "found" at one end of the Universe and in the next be present in a close proximity. "It" wants to be both here and there and yet in reality "It" is only existing for the observer who is trying to measure it. Here and there are only relative to a place with time and dimensionality. And every observer is a co-Creator of his/her/its own reality.

    Monads have helped to create and constantly modify the contextual field we call Earth and the experiential vehicles they use there. A faction of Monads have obviously invested quite a bit of energy into the creation of Homo sapiens sapiens. They have also invested quite a bit of energy into orchestrating the development of Homo sapiens sapiens into more and more ignorant and depraved versions so that we could get to this place we call 21st Century Near-Term Human Extinction. What will come next? Well, I am willing to bet that some members of the Monadic Kingdom, because of their addiction to the four-dimensional Earth-based human experience, will either continue to try to incarnate into Homo sapiens sapiens vehicles despite the horrific conditions that survivors of the coming apocalypse will have to deal with or they will seek other planets, human-like beings or emotion-based four-dimensional vehicles in order to satisfy their addictive "needs." Another set of Monads will probably try to seek out other human-like hosts to continue to test themselves in somewhat familiar conditions. Others will probably try to orchestrate the creation or development of another form--maybe even human--for their continued adventures into four-dimensional experiential learning. Still others may "wake up" and see that the four-dimensional "physical" or "emotional" experience is not the only way to provoke Self-growth and Self-realization. These may decide to forego further trips to four-dimensional experience and may instead choose among the myriad other dimensional forms and experiences available to them (and their imaginations). I'd like to think that some of us may get back on track and "seek the Light" or, that is, return to our quest for reunion with our One True Source. I am feeling that that may be the next aim for Journeyman Paul. Like our Cosmic Birth Twin, Toril, We may be done with the Earth School. There are so many choices!
     In the meantime, we are still here. We have these aging human bodies to use for the gathering of still more experiences and information.
     In preparation for this extended journey on Earth I am going to next use a series of blogposts to focus on the metaphoric significance of the information we can and do take in through our human bodyminds.

The Transformational Power of Creativity

I have to interrupt the flow of my series on Drew's Grand Theory of Descending Evolution because of an event that occurred this week that is so perfectly illustrative of the transformational power that an act of human creativity can have. This week my parents-in-law expressed their concern for my health (I've been experiencing low stamina since a bout with the flu laid me prostrate for four days in early July.) They wondered if a visit to a doctor might be helpful to determine if I have any issues that could be helped out from the "professionals." What my parents-in-law do not truly grasp is how little I respect the philosophy and approaches of the medical community and how sincerely I wish to handle my health my self.)
     Anyway. After hearing this from my wife (I was not present when this information was being shared), I was suddenly inspired to write them a letter. This letter came from my heart, it came from the highest form of Love that I know how to use, and what resulted feels so cathartic--feels as if I have summed up my progress and growth, summed up Who I Think I Am so well that it has left me feeling as if I have shed another layer of four-dimensional muck. Ever since sending this letter I have felt lighter, clear-headed, and very much aware of my bodymind serving as an instrument for gathering information and experience, as if my Earthly form was a conduit of unconditional love, as if I am more consciously aware of the Great Cosmic Dance that I am participating in through this four-dimensional vehicle and its "world."
     Everything I do, everything I think, is now more readily and steadily imbued with a wonderfully light and detached perspective of use, choice, curiosity, and amazement. It has been wonderful! And it is truly the result of the cathartic event of putting together and sending (letting go!) of this letter--of the most beautifully and perfectly organized and worded expression of my current truth and Who I Think I Am At This Moment--which, of course, I am not. For now that I have written and sent this letter, it feels as if I have purged myself of that version of my Self and am now ready to experience information to use for the expansion of my self-concept--in preparation for the cathartic expression of the next version of my Self.
     For those of you who have been listening to these podcasts from the beginning, you will note the repetition of the theme that I have used several times in which I have expressed my belief--based upon my personal experiences--that all art, all human creativity, is but an expression--and purging--of one's current beliefs and understandings--putting these beliefs and values and understandings in concrete form for one's self to be able to view objectively, to look at and realize "That was me! That was me then! But now I have gotten past that version of me and my truth. Now I am on the road to something else--to another version of my Self that I will create, express and then discard."
     This week's letter has accomplished the same thing that my stories and music and dreams and past-life recollections and so many other creative acts have accomplished:  they express a version of my truth "outside" of myself so that I can view it, study it, learn from it with some "objectivity," and then (proudly) let go in order to move on to new information and new adventures.
     Here is that letter:

Please don’t worry about me! I am fine, I am happy, I am listening to my inner voice, I am doing what I feel I want and need to do. I believe it is in the difference in our respective values that provides the source for your concern. You see, I do not value this human shell, this Earth existence in the same way you do. I look at my body as a vehicle in which I travel (mentally, and emotionally as well as physically). The “I” refer to is the Higher Self who is the true driver of this vehicle—the animator and, in Truth, the Creator of this vehicle. I have contracted to use this Drew Fisher body/vehicle in order to gather experiences and information. I have created a Soul with a complete Plan which helps to guide the vehicle into certain pre-arranged or rather, desirable experiences in order to test my Self, to negotiate through choices and decisions, in order to further my growth along a goal of expanded consciousness. 

    Thus, I place far less value on what we call “life”—which to me means human life with its made-up set of four-dimensional “physical” and emotion-based “reality.” The only reality that is sure to me is the Divine state of Unified, Pure Consciousness—that place in which form and time are unnecessary. Time and dimensionality only exists as tools for our infinite number of possible adventures—and as tools for the creation of the infinitude of contextual fields that are available to us for our adventures. Earth, the human body form, emotions and physicality, are but simple tools for us to experience adventures. They are mere vehicles of information for us to use. Or not. 

     We have the option of choice. In every moment of every “day” we are presented with an infinite number of choices. The amazing gift of Divine Consciousness is that there IS NO RIGHT OR WRONG CHOICE! There is no better or worse, no good or evil, Heck! There isn’t even a here or there in the State of Pure Consciousness. Everything just IS. Every thing is just a piece of information available to us for our use. Or not. The choice is ours and ours alone. 

     So. Again, I do not place the same value on this Drew Fisher bodymind or this 21s Century Earth School contextual field as you might. I value autonomy of choice. I work to try to find Beauty, Truth, Love, and Joy in each and every experience, each and every piece of information. Or, sometimes, I may choose to use Pain and Suffering as the road to my enlightenment. Again, the choice is mine and mine alone. 

     My choices are not intended to reflect upon how much love I have for myself or for others. I enjoy this human bodymind and enjoy the beauty and experiences that this contextual field we call “Earth” has offered me. And I enjoy and love the other Sparks of the Divine (who are all, in Truth, one with me) who have chosen a human bodymind as a vehicle for their adventures and growth. I am also just as content with knowing that this illusory world, this game of illusions that we have participated in the co-creation of, is only as important as we decide to make it. We all have the choice—at each and every moment—to decide what kind of value we wish to assign this “world,” this “life,” our bodies, our relationships, etc. And we have the choice to change our minds. At each and every moment. 

     My choices are not yours, they are not Toril’s, they are not Uncle Sam’s or Donald Trump’s. They are MINE. And that is the beauty of this game: we each get to pretend we are our selves, that we are separate, that we have individuality and autonomy, when, in fact, we are all One and we are all Love and we are all Everything Possible. 

     I’m trying to learn to not get too caught up in the Game—to learn to detach from the “obstacles” that we attract into our lives. That way I can see and Love them for the Beauty and Truth that they offer in their reminder of the fascinating and amazingly creative ways we come up with in order to test our”selves”.    

     In my belief and value systems, inhibited Soul life is the source of all dis-ease is suffering. I have a body but I am much more than this body that I am using. I have feelings and emotions but I am much more than the feelings and emotions that I use. I have an intellect but I am much more than the thoughts and imaginings of the mind that I am using. I am an individuated spark of the Divine, a wave in the Great Ocean of Cosmic Consciousness, a photon in the great Spectrum of Universal Light. I do not have to be anything else. I have chosen a human bodymind on planet Earth, but I do not need it, It will do nothing for me that I already do not have. It is just a vehicle at the carnival. I do not need the carnival or its rides. I do not need anything. But I have chosen to use this ride, this vehicle. And I continue to choose to use this vehicle as well as the contextual field of planet Earth. I have also decided to try to choose mostly to learn and experience through Joy not suffering, through Love not fear, through Truth as best as I can determine it, and through filters of Beauty as best as I can open them.

     Thank you for your worry and concern. I am ever grateful and ever inspired by your presence and participation in my Drew Fisher life. But, I am okay! I am very happy with the place I am in and the choices available to me. And be assured that I am working hard on trying to make choices that favor Joy, Love, Truth and Beauty. 

I am, as ALWAYS,

Yours, in Peace and Love,

“Drew Fisher”

If I were to die today this would be what I'd like read at my funeral.

Drew's Grand Theory of Descending Evolution, Part 2: Fallibility and Distraction in the Spirit World

In the previous podcast I made the supposition that the spiritual beings who are occupying and animating our four-dimensional Earth-based human bodyminds are also using a variation of the contextual fields of space and time, and that contextual fields were necessary to these "spiritual beings" in the "Monadic Kingdom" in order to proceed with things like "form" and "history" and "cause and effect" and "identity" as well as for planning and review. Establishing this presumption was necessary as a foundation in my attempt to help argue for a theory that I have developed which tries to establish proofs that the human experiment is one that has been created and orchestrated in order to provide a gradually deepening distance from God-ness, from Unity and Pure Consciousness, from Divine Origin. I have tried to establish that without the contextuality of space and time there could be no cause and effect and, in fact, no basis for a concept of evolution much less one of evolving spirits. Now it is time to extrapolate into my theory the likelihood that spirit beings get caught up in "stuff" just like we humans do.


FALLIBILITY AND DISTRACTIBILITY IN THE SPIRIT WORLD

Is the Goal of the Monadic World 'Divine Reunion'?

Before we can begin a discussion of the possibility that the current course of human evolution is downward, in a descent toward greater ignorance and more extended and creative uses of the Grand Illusions of Duality, we must consider what the goals, aims, or purpose of the Spirit or Monadic "World" might be.
     Until recently, I thought that in being oriented from an Earth-bound, human perspective I was supposed to aim high, to seek The Light, to look upward towards Heaven. I thought that the primary purpose or ultimate goal of my core being, of my "soul," if you will, was to do everything in my power to figure out how to return to Oneness with the Unified Field, to be reunited with the Divine Source of my Life Force, to return to the State of Pure Consciousness. I had made the assumption that soul-return, and God-return, were the aims of every person's existence--even if only unconsciously--as if we each had homing beacons inside us that were tirelessly trying to steer us back to our One True Source.
     Now I have changed my mind.
     Now I believe that we are in no hurry, that, in fact, we may be far more interested in exploring the depths and depravities of the Illusions of Duality than in returning to God-Unity. Let me try to retrace the steps I took to get to this stage of understanding.

The Human Experiment

If Pure Consciousness (God) is unbound by Time, then any step away from anything but Pure Consciousness entails buying into illusory constructs of belief and behavior, such as the Illusion of Separation, the illusions of fragmentation, changeability, need, failure, requirement, judgment and condemnation, conditionality, superiority and ignorance, as well as the illusions of space and time--in which Time becomes the key reference of measurement.
     I have finally come to understand that the human experiment was devised as an effort to move consciousness further away from the timeless, unity consciousness of Pure Consciousness. This was set in motion because . . .  because we can. Because we Monads are co-creators. Because we are active participants in the creation and play of the "games" we play in order to gather experiences. Because it is another challenge, another way to test our Selves.
     The further consciousness moves away from Unity Consciousness and its state of timelessness, the slower, more immersed or trapped in time and in slower, heavier vibrational states of being it is. We Monads want to see--we want to feel--what that feels and looks like. We want to test our Selves against the deepest veils of Ignorance, against the deepest trappings of the Great Illusions of Duality. However, as my personal experience as Journeyman Paul has shown me, the feel of feelings, the 'brainwashing' of sentient existence, is quite powerful and engaging--even overwhelmingly and distractively so. Once engaged, it is quite difficult to extract or detach one's mind and consciousness from sensuality and rationality. A lifetime spent using these perspectives--using the Illusions--takes some time to decompress and extricate from. This information led me to ruminate upon the choices Monads make--the myriad options that are (probably) available to them--and why they make the choices they do--like the one to come to Earth and use "21st Century" "Homo sapiens sapiens" vehicles for their adventures.

The Current State of Planet Earth and Our Human Species

There are more Homo sapiens sapiens on planet Earth right now than ever before. More of these people are feeling isolated and separated by fear and automation. More people are disconnected from all other life on the planet. This is leading to a deterioration of the health of the planet as well as a deterioration of the health of all life forms on the planet. To my mind, these are all points in support of my theory that we Monads are purposely seeking, creating, desiring--maybe even addicted to--the "high stakes" game of seeing how "low," how "far," we can take the illusion of Separation, how little consciousness we can use and still find our Godness inside us (or not). Remember: the Monad knows that Life and our core being, the spark of the Divine that is our animating Life Force, is indestructible and independent of time and dimensionality. And remember also that Earth's Solar System has just begun its return trip from which our host star, Sol, was at its greatest distance from its Cosmic Twin in the Pleaides. Using the 24,000 year cycle of Kali Yuga the Earth is just coming out of the most intense period of fear, "darkness," and consequent ignorance. Because our solar system will be continuously cycling into greater and greater proximity and effects of Light and Love during the next 12,000 years, the opportunities to succeed in deeply engulfing oneself within the veils of Ignorance will become increasingly more difficult to create and acquire in that time period. I believe it only natural that creative beings should think that they should take advantage of the full range of opportunities for experience, no matter how twisted and far-fetched these choices may seem to we humans with our limited, brainwashed intellects and values. Now is the time to experience the deepest depths of darkness and depravity.

     But just how dark and depraved--how veiled and ignorant--are we 21st Century humans? How 'distant' are we from Pure Consciousness? If Pure Consciousness is the state of dimensionless, timeless ubiquity, and each step away from 100% Pure Consciousness involves the use or buying into Illusions of Separation, Fragmentation, Isolation, and measurable, linear movement and activity, then where on a 'scale of consciousness' would we put humans--and where on the same 'consciousness scale' would we put monads?
     My intuition and logic have me believe that the human state of consciousness is more distant from the Original Unifying State of Pure Consciousness than that of a "spiritual" monad--and that we are using the Illusions of Duality to a much greater degree than previously. But where on the 'consciousness scale' would we place each of them? Let's explore this question a little further looking at the Homo sapiens sapiens question. And let's use a little of our own human ingenuity to do so.

Using Science to Support the Descending Evolution Theory

     It is scientific fact that there is a correlation between brain size and intelligence. Larger brains predict higher intelligence and apparently science has ample proof to support this--though I wonder how widely the definition of "intelligence" varies between scientists. But the real question is:  Are humans on a path that shows increasing or decreasing brain use and, thus, correspondingly, increasing or decreasing intelligence? What does science say about this matter?

     Anthropologists say that the evolution of Homo sapiens over the past two million years had been marked by a steady increase in brain size (though much of this can be accounted for by corresponding increases in body size). Intelligence seemed to have increased over much of that time as well. It is, however, scientific fact that human brain size has been decreasing since its peak about 28,000 years ago. At 1600 cubic centimeters, the Neanderthal species had the largest recorded brain size among Earth's recent samples of hominids. (Current human brain sizes average between 1200 and 1300 cubic centimeters--this despite overall increases in average size among modern day Homo sapiens sapiens.) With this in mind, it only makes sense to predict that human intelligence has been commensurately decreasing over the same 28,000 years. This seems to line up with my belief that "smaller thinking," that is, more self-centered, isolated, robotic, fear-based thinking and behaviors, have become more the dominant "intelligence" of the evolutionary trail of Homo sapiens sapiens during this, its "civilized" phase of history. It seems to me our smaller brains have caused us to become much more docile, passive, fear-motivated, and herd-like over recent millennia. This is, to my mind, ever so obvious with our current state of mass human complacency during a time in which the impending collapse of everything that supports human life and so-called "civilization" is occurring. The progressively increasing rate of mass species extinctions that has been caused by human-induced global climate change is truly cause for alarm, if only because we humans are not so far down the chain of species at risk. And yet, nobody seems excited enough to do anything, much less change their consumer-comfort behaviors. Look at Sao Paolo, Brazil:  20 million people with less than 90 days of fresh water left and nothing is being done! Talk about denial! And California! The food basket of the United States is in the middle of a 30-year drought that is causing radical modifications and limitations to fresh water supply and distribution. And yet, it's business as usual for those 40 million inhabitants (and their very dependent neighbors)! Denial and "the bliss of ignorance" are the runaway choices for our species' preferred mental states! 

Are We Addicted to Four-dimensional Earth-based Experience? 

     Part of my inquiry is driven by the belief I have that Monads are using four-dimensional human vehicles expressly for the test of diving as deeply as one can away from the Unity of Pure Consciousness--in the curiosity of what would it be like, and "how far can we go" and yet still maintain the hope of success in "getting back," that is, in recognizing our spiritual nature, our God-ness, the spark of the Divine Oneness of Pure Consciousness (if the Monads in question are in fact still cognizant of that End Goal).
     I believe that we Monads have become addicted to the thrill, to the challenge, of how deeply we can dive into devolutionary states of four-dimensional consciousness. The fact that we have chosen to continue using a four-dimensional vehicle, the most recent model being Homo sapiens sapiens, which has been losing brain capacity, losing intelligence over the measurable time of its existence on Earth, only re-confirms my theory that we are using the Earth-based human bodymind as a vehicle for testing how low can we go--how deep, how far away from God-consciousness can we go--what does that experience feel like, etc. But more, I believe that we--or, at least a certain percentage of us (those that are choosing to jump on board the sinking ship that is 21st Century humankind)-- have become addicted to the challenge of doing something that no one else has done before. Like thrill seekers. We have become adrenaline addicts.
     I have even come to surmise that these beings which use four-dimensional experience as their 'playground' have become so familiar, so comfortable, so attached to the constructs, behaviors and thinking patterns of their four-dimensional (Earth-based) vehicular hosts that they have become accustomed or even addicted to those patterns. Just as we Americans have become accustomed (or, some would argue, addicted) to having shoes, clothes, our own car, our own telephone, our own computer, etc., we "monads" have become accustomed (or addicted) to being emotional, to being four-dimensional, to using and regularly acquiring new human vehicles for the transportation and gathering of information.
     Please let me insert here my personal definition of what constitutes an addiction. I believe a person has an addiction when one becomes so possessed by the pursuit of an object, feeling, or state of being that s/he lets other needs and/or obligations and relationships suffer--like basic nutrition and self-care (including a well-balanced diet, proper sleep, and basic hygiene), effective two-way communication with and attention to family and friends, commitments to contractual agreements like school, jobs, scheduled appointments, etc. I think that Monads can (and, perhaps, have) become so obsessed by the challenge of the pursuit of the deepest descent into four-dimensional sentience, into the most complicated and convoluted uses of the Illusions, that they forget their other "business" as well as the other choices available to them in the Spirit World.

     I'd like to go back to the video game analogy that I used in the previous blogpsot for a minute. I think it will help to explain how the game of four-dimensional emotion-based Earth School experience might become so addictive. The being playing a video game can become so mesmerized, so caught up in the illusory world of the video game, that s/he becomes a couch potato sucked into playing the game for hours on end while forgetting all of the other things it could or should be attending to (like feeding itself, moving ["movement is life"], interacting with others, thinking, attending to duties and responsibilities, contributing to a collective or to the greater good, becoming a living, growing, expanding consciousness, etc.). I believe that a segment of the Monadic population have become as addicted to the challenges and adventures of the Earth-based Homo sapiens sapiens experience as an American teenager can become addicted to the video world.
     Were we to step back from the human equation we might be reminded of the fact that there are other choices--that we do not have to use human beings, Earth School, or even four-dimensionality as vehicles for our growth and learning. But, addictions have a way of clouding out all other choices, of creating myopic tunnel vision of perceived choices. Were we Monads able to divest ourselves of the baggage and familiarity of human incarnation we might also remember that we have our own work to do that does not necessarily require us to slow our vibrational fields down in order to adapt to a more cretinous state of conscious awareness. We could and can choose higher evolution, that is, we could choose a focus on true Self-realization and re-unification with our God-hood. But right now a lot of Monads seem quite content (or obsessed) with the Game that is "21st Century Homo sapiens sapiens."

     But why? Why are so many Monads stuck in this loop of Earth School dependency? I think that it has something to do with pride! Or perhaps it has to do with all of the proverbial "seven deadly sins." (They are, after all, "deadly" for a reason!) The deeper into ignorance and illusion we can immerse our Monads and still climb out, still find a way back to Monad consciousness, the more we can toot our horn and puff up our chests to say, "I did it!"
     "I" did it.
     Within that little prideful phrase lies a clue to one of the major flaws of our Earth School addiction:  the motivation to test our Selves has become totally Ego-driven, totally selfish; it has lost it's Unity-driven motivation. We have become totally immersed and dependent upon the Grand Illusions of Creation--and oblivious to the Beauty, Joy, Truth, and Love of re-memberance and reunification with our Divine Source. We have become more enamored of our experiments and adventures into Darkness and negligent and forgetful of our connection to The Light.
     This is not, in my opinion, a sign of progress; this is not illustrative of evolutionary gain. This is not illustrative of Unity- or God-Consciousness shining through and blowing away the illusions of duality, separation, Ego, and dimensionality. This is, to my mind, an example of an addict living in either ignorance or denial of the truth and true reality. We have become addicted to our own creation; addicted to the worlds, forms, constructs of our own imagining. We have forgotten that we have choice, that there are other choices, other options. There is no right or wrong, no better or worse. But there are other options.

Drew's Grand Theory of Descending Evolution, Part 1: Contextual Fields

     For several months now I have been watching as one of my previous belief systems cracked and crumbled. As always, this is a good thing, as the demise of the old is able to facilitate the making way for new and "expanded" versions of comprehension of "the way things are" (or, at least, "the way thing might be"). As it turns out, this is the way of all healthy systems. A system is only a temporary construct that has been created and/or synthesized by us in order to try to make sense of our world according to our own current capacity for comprehension. But there is the rub:  Each system is limited by each individual's current capacity for understanding! And each individual, in turn, is limited to a certain system of understanding by his or her current capacity for comprehension.
     No belief system is meant to last forever, which is to say, every belief system is meant to be temporary. It only works so long as it fits the most current information available. When new information becomes available that does not fit the current system, a new, grander, more comprehensive system must be devised to accommodate all the information that is available. So:  Be happy when you discover a system that helps explain your understanding of something, but be prepared:  It won't stand up against the pressures of new information forever. Change is the rule; stasis is an illusion. Motion, growth, and development are always trying to happen. It's all part of the big dualistic yin-yang of Life and Entropy. One belief system, one version of the truth, is always but a temporary explanation sure to be shed for new and improved, new and expanded, versions of "truth" that the evolving seeker cannot help but stumble upon. Heck! Even the self-proclaimed "unevolving" most conservative stuck-in-the-muds cannot help but have to deal with adapting to new information and to change that is happening in the illusory place that they call "all around them."
     Part of what instigated my recent growth spurt has been the nagging realization that there are more Homo sapiens sapiens on planet Earth right now than ever before--this despite the fact that the planet is becoming less hospitable to the support and sustenance of biological life--including our own species. Why? Why are so many souls choosing to incarnate into human bodies at this time? What is the attraction (besides the increased number of available vehicles)?
     At first I thought that it had to do with the sheer excitement of being present for the "End of Days" and all of the geometrically increased opportunities for intense learning that comes with having to operate in crisis mode. Remember:  We Monads choose to use these human vehicles for the expressed purpose of adventure--of gathering experiences. The current times are very intensely packed with a lot of potential for gathering experiences. While this solution to my questions about burgeoning human population seemed logical when coming from this perspective in which beings from a Spirit World use the four-dimensional bodies of human beings for the acquisition of growth experiences, I now believe that this is only a part of the full reason, only the surface of a larger truth.
     Until recently I had made the assumption that the "spirit beings" from the "spirit world" who use human beings and the four-dimensional Earth School contexts for gathering experiential information remained deeply and purely connected to The Source, to the Creative Power that birthed them, both in their spirit world and unconsciously, while in human form. That is, I had thought that our Monadic "over-souls" were in tune and attuned to the Unity Consciousness beyond the Creative Realms of Duality and Material Illusion both primarily and consciously--and that they had Spiritual Oneness and Divine Reunion on the top of their list of priorities at all times. Now I am no longer of this opinion.
      Contrary to my original thinking, I now believe that the "spiritual beings" that I reference when speaking of the context of bringing meaning to our four-dimensional Earth-based human lives, that they are themselves operating within a contextual field of space and time, albeit, a different vibrational context than the one we're used to here on Earth, but, still, a field with its own set of rules and limitations. Also, certain elements of the "spirit world" and of our "use" of the human experience have led me to question the "God-ness" of the spiritual beings of whom I speak. In fact, I have begun to believe that the "spirit beings" of the "spirit world" are less than "pure" of spirit, less than pure in intent, that they are capable, even likely, of being just as muddled in their own "stuff,"  just as distractible from lofty goals and ideals, as we humans mired in our tar pits of emotional chaos can be.


CONTEXTUAL FIELDS IN THE 'SPIRIT WORLD'

     Though I have continuously asserted throughout my writing that "there is no such thing as space and time in the spirit world" I now see that I need to amend or correct this statement. I am wrong. Of course the beings using the 'spirit world' are using space and time just as they are using contextual fields both to project and receive images of themselves to other 'light' beings. They are using contextual fields as well to manipulate that which they are perceiving as 'outside' them--(they, too, are using dualistic Creation for their games playing).
     I have come to realize that it is only in the Original State of God-ness, the Original State of Unified Consciousness, that space and time do not exist. In That "Place," from That perspective, space and time do not have a need to exist. God, or The Unified Field, does not need for space and time to exist because It has no need of anything; It is complete within Itself (which is everything, in a unified, singular state). Space (dimensionality) and time exist for the experiential use of Consciousness to imagine Itself in any and all contextual fields possible. When Consciousness is not feeling a need or desire to use the contextual fields of duality consciousness and the Illusions that come with it, then that is the "place" or "state" in which space and time do not exist. There, in the formless, Unified State, space and time are completely unnecessary.
     What has become suddenly so very clear to me is that Souls, Spirits, Monads--or whatever you want to call them--spiritual beings are still using space, time, duality, contextuality and The Illusions. They may be "closer" to God, God-ness and Unity Consciousness than we who are using the murky four-dimensional emotion-based human experience, but they are not There. They may not even be "linked in," that is, they may not even be aware of The State of Pure Consciousness from which they came. My point is that the spiritual beings using four-dimensional emotion-based "physical" form may be so focused on their attentions and connections to space, time, duality, contextuality and The Illusions that they may, in fact, be distracting or deluding themselves from remembering their natural state, their God connection, just like us! Having to deal with space, time, duality, contextually, The Illusions, and other Earth and human "rules" and "commitments" may be so overwhelming that the spiritual being is totally disengaged from any memory or awareness of its Divine Essence, of its interconnectedness to the Unified Field Source, much less its "mission" to try to return There (a mission that may in fact be an eventuality, not necessarily an urgent priority). Also, life between Earth incarnations in the so-called "spirit world" could be so focused on previous, future or current forays into the four-dimensional contextual field of the Earth School human experience that even the "spiritual being" or Monad in its unencumbered "pure" state may be distracted from its innate motivation to return to God/Unity Consciousness.

Why So Many Souls Are Choosing Earth School Experiences. This is what I believe to be the case with the spiritual beings currently focused on the Earth School experiment. Many beings in the spirit world are clamoring to try out the human experiment. They are hearing all the excitement and seeing the lure of the thrill-seeking, adrenaline pumping, machismo-testing game called "21st Century Human Civilization in Collapse." Exciting and challenging experiences for all! When you know, as Monads do, that consciousness, that life, is indestructible, then the "dive" into the human vehicle isn't so worrisome. It's analogous to we humans playing a video game: we know that the video game is entertaining and exciting but we also know that it serves no real threat to our existence, that we can "turn it off" and detach from it whenever we want. It is, after all, just a game.
     Like the video game, the Monadic beings occupying the temporary experiential vehicle we call human beings know that the human experience involves a commitment to operating within a contextual field of Illusion. That is, Monads know going into the commitment to four-dimensional emotion-based perspective that they are using a vehicle that operates within a contextual field that requires agreeing to the use of the fundamental belief that they are separate, even veiled, from their own spirit world. And yet, these beings who occupy and manipulate us from a "spirit world"--are themselves still using a field. They are using dimensionality, using time, for their very existence, for their benefit and amusement/entertainment. Though conscious beings in the spirit world have no permanent or fixed physical form or appearance and are not bound by a linear version of time, they do express themselves in morphological form--and in location; they use space and time more as we would use a field or a playground in which any and every point is equally accessible. One only need think it and one has access to that space (or form) or time (or time line).
     Having a contextual field of space and time is the very foundation for the use of cause and effect, of planning and review, of desire and goal-setting, as well as for the existence of all of the Illusions. Without space and time, the Grand Illusions--and in fact any action or thought--really serves no purpose. Space and time provide the "playing field" in which to have games while using the illusion of need, the illusion of failure, the illusion of disunity, the illusion of insufficiency, the illusion of requirement, the illusion of judgment, the illusion of condemnation, the illusion of conditionality, the illusion of superiority, the illusion of ignorance, and, of course, the illusion of separation. And even in the contextual field that I call the "spirit world" these illusions are in full use, the Illusions are serving the "needs," goals and plans of what amounts to be delusional sparks of the Divine, which we call Monads. The delusion of "the Monadic Kingdom" with all its rules and regulations serves those forms of being just as the delusion of "the Earth School" serves the forms of being that we use here on Earth. The question is:  How focused are we on remembering to process and grow from the experiences gathered from these adventures in form and context. And that will be more of the focus of my next blogpost.

The Teachers: Sex

Sex as a teacher. How has sex been a teacher to me? While sex is obviously a motivational force central to the human species' survival and perpetuation, I found very early on that I felt quite uncomfortable with both the amount of attention my sex drive demanded of me and how much control the biological sex drive had over me. Since the drive to preserve and spread one's population comes from a place very deep in biology, it makes sense that sex be a central focal point of attention and energy. This is undoubtedly sown into the fabric of our DNA. But, that doesn't solve the problem that somehow in my learning and conditioning as Drew Fisher I came to associate the sex drive and sexual act as a "bad" thing--something that placed us (humans) on a level with the "lowly" "beasts" (animals) who supposedly sat below me on the evolutionary and even religious hierarchical chains. Blame it on my Roman Catholic upbringing, but I found myself desperate to repress and control the 'ugly' animal urge. Even though I have learned that the sex drive comes with the human condition--that it is a drive that is innate and natural to these beings we have chosen (and created) our four-dimensional emotion-based experiences and adventures--I have spent most of this lifetime in conflict with this part of my nature. As a matter of fact, it might be said that my "battle" with my sexual/animal instincts occupied a good portion of my self-'work' during the decade of my twenties. Though the fascination, the drive, the 'temptation' and the access were always present, I suffered over how much control the sex drive exerted over my waking mind. (Interestingly, sex has rarely ever been a primary or even secondary focal point of my dreams. I am aware of less than two or three dozen sexually charged dreams in my entire life and only a handful of "wet dreams"--no pun intended.)
     In college I remember that there were several writers that fell into my sphere of influence whose ideas with regards to sex and the human condition resonated with me and my rather prudish Catholic conditioning. Some of the Italian Renaissance philosophers like Pico and Ficini and Plutarch and other religious philosophers exposed me to the 'spirit versus animal' conflict that was apparently inherent in the human condition. That is, spirits are born into a human body, which is the stuff of Creation--as is the flesh of our animal beings with all of its accompanying urges and desires--yet the Cosmic Spirit/ Divine spark that is our animator, that which gives our bodies life and consciousness, is trying to control and manipulate the flesh and its instincts in order to rise above the unconscious instincts of our animal nature toward the pursuit and focus on our own potential as Creators, that is, on artistic and altruistic contributions to our world. I can say that in all honesty that this information is part of what motivated me to explore such vocational options as cancer research, the Catholic priesthood, and classroom teaching. Even the choice to become husband and parent was really the outcome of a decision to choose monogamy and parenthood in order to (in hopes of) sublimating my drives and urges into something that felt like it had the intention of a "higher" contribution to the greater good--of my self, my loved ones, and the planet as a whole. Thus, I remained, by definition, a "virgin" until I met the woman with whom we decided to try to bring children into the world. Not to mislead anyone, I managed to accumulate a lot of sexual experience, to enjoy a lot of exploration of sexual communication with a variety of partners, I just could not allow myself to 'commit' to the act of intercourse, to "go all the way," until I was committed to the possibility of raising children.
     You see, the way my mind had built up its defenses and responses to the act of intercourse was to fear and revere it. I had built up an altar to its sacrosanct purpose. I had decided that I could not have intercourse with a woman until it was as a conscious expression of a mutual decision to try to get pregnant. Intercourse, to my mind, had become reserved for the express purpose and whole-hearted--even sacred--intention of trying to bring another soul into the world. Thus, I never allowed myself to "go all the way" with my many lovers because I never felt ready--I never felt mature enough or committed enough to the relationship at hand to take on the sacred duties and responsibilities of parenthood; I had never felt the kind of connection with another person, no matter how much love we shared, to be ready and willing to take on those very serious responsibilities.
     It was a long time before I was finally willing and able to commit to the responsibilities of partnering and parenting. In fact, at the age of 33--the age at which Jesus of Nazareth was when he fulfilled his commitment to his Soul Plan as he saw it--I eventually came to believe, to accept, that I was not going to find the "right" person to partner with--that I would go through life without raising children of my own, without knowing intercourse. My standards were that high and that idealistic!. And they were non-negotiable. Partnering "in that way," I believed, involved knowing that both individuals in the partnership were equally and mutually committed to the life-long project of raising children and to the hard work of nurturing of healthy, loving relationships. I did not think that this was going to happen for me. Until I "gave up" on "my dream." That is when I finally met the mother of my children. But, that is another story.
     For many years I remained stubbornly "attached" to a belief system that I had created which championed the concept of a spiritual being who consciously worked toward his/her mastery over the "desires of the flesh" that the "animal nature" that their Earthly form bore with it. In effect, I had formed a "good" versus "evil" orientation to life. I thought it my goal--in fact, I thought it the duty of every person who had attained awareness and consciousness of their "true" spiritual nature--to sublimate all animal urges and desires into so-called "higher" pursuits. It was not until I encountered some of the concepts and implications of quantum physics, Buddhism, the Tao, and healing modalities of energy work like Mikao Usui's Reiki, Randolph Stone's Polarity Therapy, India's Ayurveda, and Esoteric Healing that I was able to dismantle and even let go of my dualistic worldview and move into a non-dualistic perspective. I was finally able to let go of thinking of myself and my thoughts and actions as "good" or "bad," "selfish" or "altruistic," "right" or "wrong," "better" or "worse." At this point, sex and physical intimacy became a means for the expression of love and Love. Eventually, I realized that sexual intimacy was just one means for the expression of love and Love--that there are many, many ways to show and experience love and Love. (My use of two different forms of the word "love" is intended to remind people that there is a self-serving, often possessive form of love that humans use to try to express their idea of love and which comes from the insecure and fear-filled Ego-Personality, and that there is also a form of love that is expressive of the nonjudgmental, conditionless, all-accepting, "pure" love that is the state and Life blood of the Divine (our "true" essences). This is the belief system that allows me to detach from things and expectations and attributions of polarizing duality.

     My discomfort with the internal attraction to and social- and media-induced obsession with sex led me on a long and diligent search for the cause and control of such urges. No doubt my Catholic upbringing contributed to the foundational guilt and discomfort I had over sexual feelings and urges--which, I now recognize, are quite natural and healthy conditions/expressions of the human experience. I believe that it is the suppression of these healthy and natural desires that can lend to the creation of the root causes of behavioral aberrations and addictions. Were we allowed to openly talk and learn from our elders and to be supported and coached in our experimentations in sexual behavior we might not create such obsessive-compulsive patterns of behavior around our personal sexual behavior. Diffusing the over-blown importance and taboos we Americans have come to associate with sex, sexuality, and sexual fantasy is a key step toward more healthy attitudes and a key to the release of festering deep-seated, hidden or suppressed thoughts and emotions.
     Once again the saying, "What you resist persists," rings appropriate here. Giving something as natural and innate as sex such a repressed treatment is only going to cause its unresolved energy to accumulate and eventually seek relief and/or release. On the other side of the coin, giving it such power as to glorify or flaunt it or obsess over it can lead to behaviors equally disturbing as repression. As Alice Bailey relayed the words of Master Djwal Khul, "All dis-ease is but the result of inhibited soul life." Which means, the Soul--and the Soul Plan--need attention--need release and realization--in order for the individual to achieve and maintain ease, healthy flow, and harmony with its surroundings and within its Self. The consequence of impeding or "inhibiting" "soul life" is disharmony, unhealthy blockages, and dis-ease. In Esoteric Healing we say that if an individual is not addressing his or her issues on the Spiritual planes, they will become manifest in the mental, emotional, or even physical levels of consciousness--and once something becomes manifest at the physical level it is as if the Soul is shouting out to the Ego/Personality, "Pay attention! There is something serious here that you are ignoring or not giving proper attention to!" To continue to ignore the issue or to unsatisfactorily resolve the issue can lead to physical demise and even death of the physical host--in which case the issue is carried forward into the spiritual realm where it will have to seek other means of resolution.
     Addictions, too, can be manifestations of unresolved issues--usually rather big ones--issues of distorted, misinterpreted or insufficient knowledge or information, issues of misdirected or insufficient flow of Love and Wisdom (and their twins, loathing and ignorance), or insufficient or improper flow or distribution of Will, Power, and that which one considers or treats as "sacred." The uninhibited flow of Spirit, which results in the uninhibited attendance to and realization of the Soul and one's Soul Plan, is the way to health, harmony, and ease. Though sex is a means to the loving invitation to another soul's presence and participation in the Earth-based human experience, sex can also be used as a means to the the exploration and expression of the current 'fullness' of one's flow of knowledge, intention, love, wisdom, beauty, joy, truth, and sacrifice. The least inhibited flow of all of the attributes of Pure Spirit is the goal of our Higher Consciousness--in all thought and action--just as completely uninhibited flow of these attributes is the state of Pure Consciousness.
     While masturbation is a sexual exercise in self-gratification and tension release, it can also be quite self-indulgent. One would think that one might better direct one's energies into service to the whole, to the Unified Field, instead of toward one's individual urges and desires. (Though one might also argue that self-gratification creates a temporary addition of happiness, joy and love to the self and, therefore, also a contribution to the whole since every boost to the individual unit benefits the whole.) However, to prioritize self-gratification and self-indulgence over self-awareness, self-knowledge, and self-improvement may be a distraction of one's conscious resources from the tasks laid out in one's Plan. Here again, is an example of how sex can become a side-track to the true goals one came to planet Earth to try to accomplish. Let's hope one can figure it all out and create a path of least resistance toward the end result of satisfying the Monadic goals of your lifetime.
     May your experience and use of sex support the fullest flow of knowledge, intention, love, wisdom, beauty, joy, truth, and sacrifice and may all of your experiences contribute to an ever-expanding flow of Spirit.

The Teachers: Zelig

In 1983, Woody Allen's film, Zelig, came out. It made quite an impression on me when I saw it--an impression that has lasted for over 30 years.
     Zelig is the "mockumentary" of a fictional man named Leonard Zelig who becomes known as the "human chameleon" for his unconscious behavior of taking on not only the personality of the person he is interacting with but for the extraordinary phenomenon of also physically morphing into a person with the physical features/characteristics (and clothing!) of the person he is in conversation or relationship with as if as to mirror or perfect complement to that person. For example, with a physican he begins to talk, look and act like a physician; with his psychoanalyst he begins to look and talk like Sigmund Freud; with a professional boxer he begins to talk, act, and look like a stereotypic tough-guy boxer, with an obese bearded man he grows obese and bearded, etc., etc. all in the effort to be accepted, to "fit in."
     Filmed from the perspective of a media documentary and with the title character played by Woody Allen himself, Zelig felt to me like a real personification of my own tendency to try to mirror the people I was with--or especially the people with whom I held conversations--in order to "play it safe"--to be as like in opinion and demeanor to that other human being as possible so as not to make waves, not to draw attention to myself, to seem amenable, likable, and "invisible" to the world.
     Almost immediately I also realized that the "Zelig" phenomenon is one that is also endemic to much of our American/Western culture. People are afraid to "risk" being their true, authentic selves for fear of showing their flaws or weaknesses. Everybody wants to fit in, so conformity is the rule of order rather than individuality and exceptionality. Zelig pointed this out with the artist's brilliant use of flamboyant exaggeration.
     In a culture that would have us believe that resources are limited and that everyone is competing with each other for those limited resources, the desire to "lay low," to "stay under the radar," and to "not make waves" is a viable and safe choice of action and behavior for those with less aggressive, less ruthless, and less competitive instincts or for those with more peaceful, cooperative attitudes and/or natures.
     The pressures on Americans--and, more recently, to all "Westerners"--to fit in and not stand out have only increased over the years since I was a child. I feel tremendous sadness and dismay at the pressures to conform that today's children (and adults) have to withstand--many of which are economically motivated. These issues have been common to Woody Allen's filmmaking themes throughout his career but had never been so clearly elucidated as they are in Zelig. Many, many times during my adult life (I was 25 when I first saw Zelig) I have reflected upon the social behavior of my self or of someone I've observed in which I sadly realized that this person was falling into the Zelig/ "chameleonic" behavior pattern. They were caving in to the pressure to fit in and thus shirking away from presenting their true selves, from being "big" and authentic. The Zelig pattern, as I saw it, thus became a flag of something to avoid, a marker of the kind of behavior and patterning that I wanted to avoid or break and never return to. I wanted to learn to be true to my self, to my own values and beliefs, to learn to be unafraid to express my opinions and my Truth. And I wanted to pass this awareness and this power on to others--which helped reveal for me one of my main motivations to teach, to stay in education. As a teacher I wanted to try to help others to experience and learn that they did not have to behave the way they were being pressured to behave by society, school and the ever-increasing power and influence of the media. I want to help others experience and learn that they had choices--that they are, in fact, in choice at every moment of every day over the course of their entire lives. This same desire has spilled over into my main motivation to write and to do these podcasts. I hope that my words, that my stories might provoke people into considering the choices and patterns of choices they make, as well as to consider alternatives--to speculate on choices that they might not have considered or that they were too afraid to consider. A society of Zeligs is a pretty boring even frightening prospect (though I fear we are far closer to such a society as one might think). Individuality in all its power and glory is what made America stand out. Perhaps a society of powerful, self-confident individuals would create a society of chaotic anarchy, but I think it would also nurture some amazing creativity and amazing fraternization and collaboration.

Woody Allen's masterpiece, Zelig, is a wonderful example of the teaching gift that is good art. Satire seems especially effective as a social messenger. There is extraordinary value in placing a mirror in front of our fellow man--in front of ourselves--in order to magnify our view of the versions of behavior and/or decision-making that we are capable of, that we are susceptible to, that the "powers that be" would like us to use (out of fear). All of my "teachers"--and there are hundreds of teachers that I have not singled out for these podcasts--all of my teachers have enabled me to more clearly see, feel, or hear something about my self or about my world that I could improve upon, that could use a little work and attention in order for me to grow, to expand into a "bigger," "better," newer version of my self--to realize some of the tremendous potential given me by my Divine source, by my Divine Nature, by my the revelation of a tiny glint of the "True Self" that resides within this four-dimensional, emotion-based human vehicle.
     And so, my message to you, like that of so many of my teachers, is to Be big. Be strong. Be courageous. Be fearless. For, What could possibly happen? What is the absolute worst that could happen to you for being true to your authentic Self? Incarceration? Death? But remember:  you are already incarcerated--of your own choice!--within the bodymind and rules and restrictions of an Earth-based human being. And death! Death is but another illusion. It is but a door to other worlds. For the Divine--the spark of pure Consciousness that gives life to you and every single "thing" in the Cosmos--is indestructible and ever a part of the eternal Unity of the Creator. The illusion that is the human vehicle that you are currently using is to be used for the gathering of experiences, as a test vehicle for your Soul's journey of expanding Self-awareness and Self-realization.
     Just think of it: A life lived without fear of death! A life lived with full confidence and knowledge of the permanence of the Life Force! This would be a life lived fully and without fear. Some people fear pain worse than death--pain for one's self and/or having to watch the pain and suffering of others--especially loved ones. But pain can also be dealt with as it, too, is but an illusion--an illusion that we Cosmic Beings devised and use in order to try to force ourselves to pay attention to the here and now--or else as a tool to help us learn to transcend the here and now. It is a tool by which we force ourselves to pay attention to lessons that we have been missing or, worse, lessons that the Ego/Personality has caused us to ignore or avoid. The lesson is, however, important enough to the Monadic oversoul, to the Soul Plan, that it cannot be ignored forever. So you can choose: pay attention to the issues and learn the appropriate lesson, or suffer, die, and have to be re-confronted with that very same issue and lesson in another form, in another time, in another place. I say:  Take it head on and figure out what your Monad had intended for you to learn now. The Zelig life is a life of running and hiding, it is not a life of conflict resolution. It is also not a life of confidence and self-empowerment.
     Be big. Be strong. Be courageous. Be fearless. For, that is Who You Really Are.