Define Your Terms

 When entering upon a discussion with another human being, wouldn't it be helpful if you could know that all parties involved were speaking the same language? It might feel obvious when you're all using the same language, such as "English," in speaking with one another, but what if your version, your understanding, your definition of key words that you're both using are different than each other's? For example, when a child comes to you telling you that they "can't" do something, perhaps a helpful reset exercise would be to stop the conversation and ask your companion what it is they mean or intend when using the word "can't":

I'd like to stop our conversation to ask you to please define one of the terms I hear you using. I'm sure you can appreciate how our conversation might take a negative or confusing direction were we to be each using words that we have, for whatever reasons, learned to attach totally different meanings or perspectives to. 

     If you don't mind, I'd like to hear your definition of the term "can't" as I heard you say "I can't" at the beginning of your speech. I get the sense, however, that you might be using the word in a way--with an intended meaning--that might be quite different from the way I understand or would use it. 

There may be many, many terms you and your conversation partners use regularly for which you harbor excessively different definitions. Imagine the easier time you might have--for all parties involved in the conversation--were you to all be able to use terms for which you share common, agreed-upon definitions and meanings.

Commonly used terms in modern society to which individuals (and groups) often apply quite different meanings to include: "god," "liberal," "conservative," "democracy," "freedom," "government," and even "my" and "our."