The Purpose of Pain

If you are a sufferer of chronic pain consider that your condition may have some very real spiritual implications--that there is a very direct message being delivered by your pain. It is my understanding that physical, or psychological pain is contracted as the result of "inhibited soul life," which means that the information being broadcast from the original Soul Plan has been misconstrued, misinterpreted or outright ignored. Remember:  the Ego/Personality that family and society and our own innate biological survival instincts help us to construct during our childhood becomes quite confident and set in its ways. There are often attention-grabbing obstacles or set backs and/or tragic or euphoric events in our lives that shake up the Ego into reconsidering its posturing, its belief constructs. But sometimes even these are not enough to break the constricted thinking patterns that we have grown accustomed and reliant upon. Pain--and especially daily, quality-of-life-threatening pain--has a way of demanding, commanding, even requiring, a shift in behavior and thought. Sometimes this is what is necessary for the Ego to be broken in order to finally let the beacon-like message of the Soul Plan break through the murkiness. Remember: the Voice of the soul is always singing its song, trying to get its message across; it is the Ego, distracted by the Grand Illusions of four-dimensional emotion-based sentient experience, with its layers of survival mechanisms and pleasure and comfort patterns, that fears letting go of its patterns--patterns that it has spent years building and reinforcing and with which it has become quite comfortable and even automated. Thus, pain, in my view of things, is a powerful method that we attract into our lives in order to give us a wake up call--to inform us that something we are doing is out of line with the purpose and goals we declared when we made plans to take on this current human incarnation.
     Chronic pain, then, is similar to an air raid siren in your head that won't go off. Chronic pain changes you. It breaks down the patterns of ease, joy, and free-wheeling fun and play that we may have fallen under the spell of--patterns that, I believe, are contrary to those you had placed into the goals and objectives for growth in your Soul Plan. Chronic pain, in effect, forces us to stop the patterns we had developed and to recreate ourselves in new ways. Suffice it to say, if we find means out of our chronic pain syndromes and patterns, we have discovered insights into our True Nature that can lead us to alternative paths for living and thinking. Even drug regimens, surgeries, or more destructive forms of escape from pain (like addictions and unmanaged anger) offer us glimmers of insight into the illusory nature of our four-dimensional "reality." Ideally, of course, we would find spiritual means to change our ways, to detach from the patterns and illusions that led to our chronic pain syndromes. But We have chosen created many obstacles in the fabric of human experience that impede and distract us from finding these very easily. Remember:  The 21st Century human condition has been expressly manifest to be the most difficult, challenging, "distant" or "deepest" dive into the Illusion of Separation that we can come up with. Our journey back to spiritual consciousness--through the medium of the four-dimensional emotion-based human experience--is supposed to be difficult.

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In a survey that came out in May 2011, sufferers of chronic pain and related syndromes informed the world about how their lives have been profoundly affected by the chronic pain in their lives. This is what they had to say:

  Almost 9 in 10 respondents (approximately 87%) feel they are no longer the person they were before they started living with chronic pain;

 Nearly all respondents (92%) report their condition has had a significant impact on major life decisions, such as:
     o Including whether to initiate or remain in a relationship
     o Change jobs
     o Have children

 Of the more than 650 respondents who have children currently under the age of 18: o 95% report their pain condition affects at least one of their parenting duties, such as:
     o Taking care of daily household and childcare needs
     o Enjoying their children's milestones
     o Managing their children's activities and scheduling

 Approximately 7 in 10 survey respondents (68%) agree that pain limits their ability to care for their family;

 Nearly all respondents (approximately 98%) report they have implemented some type of adaptation to their daily routine in order to conduct activities and tasks; three-quarters of respondents have made three or more daily adjustments;

When I read this information I found myself thinking that every single bullet point had what was to me an obvious message. Let me go through them with you.

The fact that 87% of the respondents feel that they are no longer the person they were  before they started living with chronic pain makes perfect sense. Pain--and especially lasting, inescapable chronic pain--changes the way in which the brain and mind have to respond and react to everything the sensory network reveals; all sensory inputs are being distorted by filters of distraction, discomfort, and misery; all information inputs are being tainted by these "negative" hues. Nothing is being perceived in the same light as it once was.
     Again, the purpose of attracting pain into one's life is to shock the Ego into reconsidering its belief systems, its filters of interpretation, it's concept of Self. To bring chronic pain into one's life must construe far more serious messages--messages of radical annihilation of one's past/previous behavior and/or thought patterns.

92% of the survey respondents claim that their chronic pain condition has had a significant impact on major life decisions, such as whether or not to remain in or initiate new relationships; change career choices, relationship dynamics about and with children.
     I truly believe that some of the patterns that we fall into are patterns that we have become so familiar with that we allow them to perpetuate--at all costs!--in order to preserve that which is known. We fear the unknown! These pain syndromes allow us a radical change in thought and behavior so as to give us excuses to change our relationships to many other things/patterns in our lives--including family, jobs, even daily routines.

95% report that their pain affects the way in which they can parent their children (or partners or other significant life participants). I believe that the current dominant relationship dynamics practiced in "first world" societies has established patterns of eccentric dysfunction--codependent behaviors enabling and even encouraging, nurturing dependent, addictive behaviors.
     I've heard America called "the borderline nation" by psychologists for the fact that the cultural attitudes, values, mores, and behaviors exhibit all of the same symptoms on a collective scale that individuals who are diagnosed with "Borderline Personality Disorder" (BPD) exhibit--which include:

---- Extreme reactions—including panic, depression, rage, or frantic actions—to abandonment, whether real or perceived
---- A pattern of intense and stormy relationships with family, friends, and loved ones, often veering from extreme closeness and love (idealization) to extreme dislike or anger (devaluation)
---- Distorted and unstable self-image or sense of self, which can result in sudden changes in feelings, opinions, values, or plans and goals for the future (such as school or career choices)
---- Impulsive and often dangerous behaviors, such as spending sprees, unsafe sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, and binge eating
---- Recurring suicidal behaviors or threats or self-harming behavior, such as cutting
---- Intense and highly changeable moods, with each episode lasting from a few hours to a few days
---- Chronic feelings of emptiness and/or boredom
---- Inappropriate, intense anger or problems controlling anger
---- Having stress-related paranoid thoughts or severe dissociative symptoms, such as feeling cut off from oneself, observing oneself from outside the body, or losing touch with reality.

These symptoms are not the "normal" behavioral reactions of a healthy, centered human to "normal" and typical life circumstances and informational inputs. If we were to go back to consider Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, we would see that something in society has gone awry; something has skewed our interpretation, perception, and reaction to reality (a reality that we had a hand in creating!) Ego/Personalities guided to create constructs based on fear, outside power, helplessness rather than our own personal strength, and, of course, Love and trust, create a psychological topography ripe for dysfunctional distortions and misinterpretations of the realities offered us here in the four-dimensional Earth School. Denied full access of any information regarding spiritual possibilities (because of the stigmas and shame and guilt we have been taught to feel or associate with such belief choices) we are left floundering in a fear-filled, "godless" world--taught to clutter our senses with as many external distractions as possible and then numb or deny any internal pangs of Unity connectivity with myriad choices of addictions.

When we get into pain syndromes that have no known or no understandable cause, it is not uncommon for people to think the pain is all "in their head" (for that is what they are often told). I would like to posit a metaphorical extension to this interpretation. I think we should consider that it is a message coming from the Higher Mind, the Soul, outside or within "the head." Remember:  all of this--even the pain!--is part of the illusory world, part of the infinitely interpretable informational options available to us through this particular contextual field that we have co-created. The message could be as simple as "Make a different choice" or "Take a different path" or as complex as "get out of there" or "stop doing the thinking, behaving that you are doing" or "Time to try on a a new belief system" or even more radically, "Time to get out of here/Time to leave this situation, pattern, relationship, or body," that is, "Time to try a different form/different contextual field."

What if you new exactly how long you have left?

What if you knew exactly how much time you had left on planet Earth--in you current human host bodymind? With this knowledge, what would you be doing differently?
     Let's say you have nine years--that you know for certain that you will be leaving your human bodymind in nine years. How will this affect the choices you make . . .  today, as well as the plans you make for your now-limited future? Would you keep up all of the patterns you have in your life currently? Would you communicate the same way you do now with a) your loved ones and b) strangers? Would you put more time, energy and focus into any other pursuits? Like travel? Reading? Religion/spirituality? Partying? Funeral/wake/memorial service planning? Would you continue spending your money on all of the same things you do now? Would you invest more time and energy into contributing to the future welfare of your loved ones or to community service projects? Would you be more interested in spending more time alone, with yourself, or in groups, socially, with others?
     The problem with the nine years issue is that it's too long for one to just spend, too long to try to go without ever paying bills and taxes (unless I want jail time to be part of the way I spend the nine years), too long to stop taking care of oneself and one's possessions (if I want them to continue working for me while I'm still here). I could resign myself to a hermetic life, sealed up in a room with books, music, Internet, paper and pens, meditation and farm-fresh food. I am ill-equipped for survival in a nomadic lifestyle, yet that is always a possibility (as it is for us all). I am not sure that I am ready to lead the life of a mendicant beggar, but that is another possibility that would attract many extraordinary experiences my way, I am sure. Leisure and travel require some kind of money or means to earming one's daily bread and nightly bed. I could figure this out. But would I enjoy it? Would I end up regretting those choices?

     How is Life meant to be lived? 

"Jean-Peyre"

Journeyman Paul has used Homo sapiens sapiens for many incarnations during the last 12,000 years. More than a few of these lives have been spent within religious orders or religiously-defined societies or vocations. Today I will present one of Paul's incarnations within pre-Reformation Europe. In this lifetime, Paul chose a French male for his host. At the time, France and all of Western Europe were very thoroughly immersed within the moral and societal structures dictated by the Roman Catholic Church. Rémy (later called Jean-Peyre) came from a typical rural communal village in Occitan or Langue d'Oc--an agricultural community called Belvézet which was located in the rugged hills above Les Seynes river, a tributary of the Gard[on], in what is the present day département of Gard, which was a western part of the Rhone River watershed in Southern France, northwest of the cities of Nîmes and Avignon.

     Born at the end of the 12th Century A.D., Rémy was his mouther's firstborn. After a series of miscarriages from his young mother, there followed the births of a series of sisters who managed to survive birth and infancy. Rémy was not, however, the first born of his father, Guillaume. He had a son from a previous marriage named Guichon. Guichon was five years older than Rémy. Guillaume was a taciturn man who was often absent from the family home for long stretches of time due to his tending to the seasonal moves of his animals (primarily sheep). The father's affection for Rémy was diminished by the boy's frailty. Rémy's older step-brother, Guichon, was also often absent as he was considered indispensable to his father. As with Rémy, Guillaume's affection and attention for his family members was tied directly into their utilitarian use to him. 

     Sickly as a child, Rémy did not grow up very strong, confident or motivated. Being disregarded by his father, Rémy became a cherished companion and helper to his mother, especially in the care of his young sisters, whom he adored (though thought of more as domesticated animals). Thus, his physique, character and traits quite naturally inclined more toward the effeminate (which caused even greater disdain and disinterest from his father).   

     At this time, it was fairly common practice for families to "unburden" themselves of male children that were viewed as probably having little to contribute to the agricultural chain of life (especially a sickly child such as Rémy). This could take the form of live-in jobs in the employ of larger local farms or apprenticeships to local trades and crafts men, but it was more common for the "sickly" boys to be given over to local religious or clerical opportunities (sometimes for a fee or service).

     In the region in which Rémy was raised there existed many local monasteries. Around the age of 11 or 12, Rémy's family found placement for him in a local monastery near Uzès. There it was planned that he would commit to the training with the goal of, hopefully, one day entering the Benedictine order. For whatever reason, Rémy was not able to satisfy the requirements necessary to rise up the steps within the Order with the other novitiates. At the age of 16, he was placed into the service of the local diocese in Aureill[h]ac-Arpaillargues where he became a junior priest-in-training where he was renamed "Jean-Peyre." 

     Jean-Peyre was not in service long before the region got swept up in the fervor of another Crusade. This crusade was different than the three previous Crusades. This time, instead of raising armies of soldiers to travel to the Holy Land and fight the Moslem "enemies of the One True Faith," the idea was to send "armies" of children, poor, and other unfortunates ("les Pauvres") to try to convert the Muslim people through their innocence and meekness. Jean-Peyre's superiors in the Church got quite caught up in the spirit of this new Crusade. They enlisted themselves to not only recruit "soldiers of Christ" to be brought to Marseilles for shipping to the Holy Land, but to accompany the precious cargo at least to Byzantium (today's Istanbul). Jean-Peyre was such a follower--he had developed so little of his own ideas and opinions on any thing--that he had no feelings one way or the other on the events that unfolded with him in the middle. Of course, he had absolutely no inkling as to the nefarious deeds that were about to unfold--to which he would become an unwitting participant and, in fact, accomplice. Instead, he was quite content--and genuinely happy and satisfied--with his assigned role of helping the individual children arriving at his church and, later, while en route to Marseilles; it was his job to find bedding, food, and some solace and care for the weak and weary "warriors" under his charge. Never questioning what these children and their caregivers had been told--or what the parents of the children--some not much younger than his 18 years--had been promised or given in return for their voluntary "donation," Jean-Peyre did what he was told, obediently went where he was ordered, and found himself totally ignorant of the bigger picture and possible political and economic games being played behind the scenes.

     The scene at the docks in Marseilles harbor was quite eye-opening for Jean-Peyre as he, himself, had never seen the Sea much less been on a cargo ship before. He was as nervous and preoccupied with the uncertainties and insecurities he felt for going out on the wavy expanse of water in a tub with sails as he was with challenges of herding the Crusaders that were under his supervision. Though he knew they were in for a long journey (to the Holy Land!), he had been told that they would be making several stops for provisions and other transactions along the way. The first leg was to be to Tripoli.
     The trip was miserable from the start. The rolling motion of the rough seas caused Jean-Peyre three days of mind-numbing sea-sickness which greatly diminished his ability to perform the duties he was there to carry out. During the night of the third day at sea, the ship was tossed and battered about by a severe storm before it finally capsized and broke apart near the rocky shores of one of Italy's islands. For Jean-Peyre it was a fairly swift death as he did not know how to swim. The visions of the receding surface of the Sea as his drowning body sank into the depths were his last impressions of that lifetime.
     In the Spirit World, Journeyman Paul was able to ascertain that no one survived the sinking of the ship that Jean-Peyre was on and that most of the children and impoverished "soldiers of Christ" on the other ships that did survive the sea voyages ended up being sold into slavery in either Tripoli or Byzantium. Not one "Crusader" ever made it to the Holy Land. This news prompted a prolonged spell of guilt and low-esteem in Paul as he found himself feeling overwhelmingly complicit in not only the ultimate deaths of the Crusaders--whose care and assauge he was charged with--but for his ignorance to the role he played in the bigger picture of intentional trafficking of innocent humans. This served him, however, and his personal growth in that it gave him the motivation to try to choose successive incarnations that were less ignorant, less meek, more engaged and aware of local and regional politics and that continued to form thoughtful opinions over a lifetime. This was also a lesson for Paul which left a somewhat sour taste for the Roman Catholic Church--which undoubtedly contributed to his choosing a few Muslim lives, a few Asiatic, and this current non-religious lifetime in me, Drew Fisher.  

Soul Mates and Twin Souls

I have covered these two topics before--both separately and together--but they still come up: Is there such a thing as a "Twin Soul" or "Twin Flame"? and What is a "soul mate"?
     As previously discussed and illustrated through my blogpost entitled "Anna," a soul mate is any soul from your Soul Family, soul group, or from within the community of souls with whom you have worked closely before. You and a soul mate may have contracted to play significant roles in each other's lives--whether that contract was to participate in a single particular event of primary significance to one or the other's growth goals or whether it is to play off each other in a mirroring/sounding board dynamic in a long term relationship such as husband and wife, siblings, mother-child, father-child, mentor-student, or others. Journeyman Paul has soul mate relationships with the people that have played girl friend, three hour encounter on a train in Europe, daughter, great grandmother, college friend, brother, father, spirit guide, and current wife in Drew Fisher's life time--and those are just the ones that have been revealed to my conscious mind in this Drew Fisher vehicle. It is likely that there are many, many more people who have contributed to the growth and development of Drew Fisher in this incarnation who are members of Journeyman Paul's soul community, but that that information has not been significant enough to have been revealed to me (so far).
     So, in short, a soul mate can be one of any number of souls you might encounter while traveling in your current human vehicle. You might be in contact with or be using several of them at this very time in your life. You may also have none currently present and/or active in your life. It is important to here recognize that a soul mate might also have contractually agreed to work with you in a particular incarnation in an adversarial or violent capacity. The lessons inherent in being the recipient of an act of violence or adversity can be very powerful--and sometimes we ask close Soul Community members to step in and perform those very difficult tasks because we know that they will do so with that goal of working for the Highest Good and most Sacrificial Love for us. To perform acts of destruction, harm, crime, or even mischief require very strong souls--souls based in a strong sense of Self and Love, souls firmly entrenched in the awareness that this is all a Game, that we are only putting on masks, playing roles to afford one another experiences based within the rules and contexts of the contextual field in which we are making our selves present. Were an "immature" or "damaged" soul to take on a human bodymind that has a destructive or violent role in store for it, it may come out more damaged, more entrenched in its perception of disharmony or injury--which only means that it might take more time and therapies for its healing and wholeness to be regained.
     For example, many Monads willingly took on key or supportive roles in the Nazi regime in Germany. The hurt and suffering that they helped to inflict or submit others to during those lifetimes in the 1930s and after was offered up with an intention of creating a perspective of gratitude and appreciation for life, family, culture, freedom, and so many other things in our world which can become taken for granted. As the comforts and ease, liberties and freedoms of modern industrial human society were growing, the Spiritual Kingdom saw that there needed to be balancing "reminders" of the special gifts we were being given. Pain and suffering are, of course, the great balancers, the great "reminders," the great perspective resets for humankind.
     It is correctly rumored that many of the Monads who participated on the Nazi side of events in the 20th century are now ensouled in Jewish or Palestinian bodyminds--as a means to making amends, to balancing out the scales, as a karmic exchange for their roles in the Nazi regime. But, a problem has arisen as some of the Monads who participated in the Nazi atrocities and the Nazi mindset and way of life came to enjoy the perpetration of destruction, control, fear, hurt and pain upon others. These are the Monads or souls who were not quite fully prepared for the impact their actions could have on their Higher Mind, on their spiritual psychology. Thus, we now have a problem with current bodyminds living lives with variations on the reinforced destroyer/perpetrator mentalities that they never quite cleared their beings of from their Nazi lives; there is violence being perpetrated on other human beings by the supposed "victims" of previous crimes against humanity! The psychoses of inflicting pain and destruction upon others is not being reversed but carried forward!
     Though some former Nazis are, no doubt, making amends for their complicity in aggression and perversion, balancing the scales of karma, it may, in fact, take several lifetimes and between-lifetimes for some of the other Monads who seem stuck in aggressive, destructive behaviors to heal and re-balance their eccentric patterns.

The question of twin souls--or "twin flames" as some are want to call them--is definitely based in a contextual field that rings true to me and my recall of experiences as Journeyman Paul. I'm not sure if it was in the first phase of individuation, that is, that first shift from Unity Consciousness into the realm of the Grand Illusions of Cosmic Creation, but I resonate with the recollection of "being born" in an ethereal form of an "egg" in a kind of diaphanous form similar in concept to the common symbol of the Yin and Yang: curled up with my "head" or "mental point of reference" facing or entwined with the "tail" or "feet" or "grounding feature" of my "other half"--who happens to be ensouling the bodymind of Toril, my current wife in this Drew Fisher incarnation. Within that "cephalic point of conscious reference" resides the seed of all that is Toril, all that is essentially my other half--and within her is the seed of all that is me (Journeyman Paul). So, while "separate" from our previous form of ubiquitous Unity Consciousness, or God, and "separate" from my other half, the yin to my yang, I am ever reminded by that seed within--as I am by the Blue Pearl within my Heart--that all perceptions of separation are but illusory and were made up by Us for Our play in the infinite realms and variations of the Cosmic Playground. At some level, despite the degree of separation in dimensionality or time and place that Toril and I choose to focus our attentions and intentions, we are never truly separated, never truly apart--and the same goes for our relationship with God. Do you see how everything is metaphor, how everything is built layer upon layer upon the Illusion of the First Individuation?
     So, in the belief system constructed to this point with the help of my experiences as Drew Fisher, Toril and I are "twin souls." We were "born" into the Illusion of Separation, into Cosmic Creation, together, metaphoric examples of God's Taoist commitment to duality. We came from the same egg, she the yin to my yang, I the masculine half of her feminine representation (which, interestingly, plays out in the fact that neither of us has been able to access a single lifetime in which we were not representatives of those original gender orientations). This is not to say that there aren't many, many other ways in which form was--or is--"born" into contextual fields within the infinite possibilities of Cosmic Creation. I'm certain that there are. This is just the entry or "birth" that Toril and I remember--and one factor that has led to our inclination to (want to) reconnect within Game-playing fields, within multi-dimensional contextual fields.
    Twin souls may decide to work together in numerous incarnations--in the guise of many roles, including but not exclusive to that of lovers. The roles you decide to take on may include those of family members or even as adversaries. I would like to here caution you against obsessing over the quest for your Twin. This, in my opinion, is simply a waste of time. If and when you are ready, that information may present itself to you, but the soul work you accomplish is not dependent upon your pairing up or holding your hands much less even finding your Twin. Suffice it to say that you are always "holding hands" with your twin, whether you are aware of it or not.
     I am told that the Monad can or will experience the joyful "reunion" with its twin while in human form when one has reached the last initiation on the scale of human unveilings of Spiritual energy. At this point it is considered that one has "done all the work" necessary to open one's human consciousness to full awareness of the presence of the Rays (though, I can assure you, the likelihood of one's master of their potentialities is very slim). After this stage or "rung" on the ladder has been achieved, there is a bit of a plateau for rest and reflection, but then there opens up an entire new ladder of spiritual goals and learning with another vast spectrum of experiential choices from which to choose our next contextual field and appropriate forms for learning and growth. The work of spiritual growth does not end with mastery of spiritual principles through the perceptual filters of the human experience. There are many, many other forms, other dimensions, other expanded fields of conscious awareness to work within, to master, before we achieve re-union with our One True Self. Imagine the consciousness/perspective of a star! or a galaxy! or a universe! And these are just four-dimensional entities of which we are already aware. We can only begin to imagine the choices of experiential perspectives beyond the four dimensions that we humans are familiar with. And through it all, rest assured, you will be "holding hands" with your cosmic twin, working with a loving "family" and "community" of Monadic oversouls. What a wonderful, beautiful Plan we have devised!

Initiations

One of the few topics I have been avoiding from the start of these blogposts is that of initiations, that is, the spiritual "ladder" that one works along as part of the human experience. I have been avoiding this topic because the Ego has its way of treating things competitively, of wanting to extoll its own virtues and achievements. The Ego wants to "look good." It wants others to think it is special so that it can think well of itself.
     The topic of initiation always seems to provoke Ego. Ego wants to tout how far it is along the spiritual path (in order to deceive others into believing Ego is in submission to Spirit). The key here is to try to remember that there is absolutely nothing that the Ego can do to improve the spiritual progress that one achieves. As a matter of fact, it can more accurately be stated that the Ego has an agenda which is usually quite different from and often misleading to The Soul Plan that was installed by the Monad and its team of spiritual beings.
     I apologize if I am confusing you here. You see, I will remind you, the Ego is, after all, merely a fabrication that we spiritual beings have created to further challenge our selves in our adventuring into the deeper and deepest realms of Cosmic Creation, veils of Ignorance, into the murky tar pits of the human experience. And, ingenious it is, this concoction that we call "the Ego" is a side of ourselves, a point of view, that interprets the world within and around us in a way that is very different from the spiritual perspective.
     The Ego is very much a product of the physical- and emotion-based perspective of Earth World. It is fully immersed in and governed by the tremendous amount of information bombarding us from our senses and our psychological identification with our human bodies. But, again, it is a devise, a tool, that we spiritual beings installed into the fabric of human beingness in order to test our selves, in order to confuse, distract and retard our ability to focus on the True tasks at hand, which would be to learn, embrace, and use spiritual principles, to practice spiritual law while in these Earth incarnations. The emotion-based sentient human experience has been devised as one of the deepest forays into the Grand Illusions of Cosmic Creation, certainly one of the most overwelhming and confusing "rides" away from "home" (which is nondualistic Unity Consciousness).
     The basics of spiritual law include individual realization, use and expression of Love, Beauty, Truth, Choice, Universal Divinity, Forgiveness, Detachment, Harmony, Unity Consciousness, etc. The achievement of this ability to realize, use, and express spiritual principles while in human form comes in stages. These stages can be called "initiations." Many spiritual traditions have elucidated set or flexible numbers of stages or initiations. The scale of initiations can be defined differently but they usually correspond to the individual's ability to cast aside or see through the various layers or veils of ignorance, the Illusions. Were one to emerge into human form with full awareness and command of all of the Illusions, in full command of spiritual law, that person would probably be recognized as an "enlightened being;" the lightness one might feel (and exhibit) from being unencumbered by the tremendous weight of Ego, from being free of the Illusions and the veils of Ignorance, is truly liberating and would certainly be found to be inspiring to those who might be fortunate to find (and recognize) themselves in the presence of such an individual.
     When I began my formal studies of spiritual information I encountered goals of achievement in Buddhist traditions--the Five Precepts of The Golden Rule, the Buddhist system of basic morality. Before that, of course, there were concepts like The Ten Commandments and the Golden Rule--the mastery of which claimed to ensure one a saintly or righteous life. I also encountered lists of goals from other writers who had spiritual focus, such as Deepak Chopra's Laws of Spirituality or Spiritual Laws of Success. And when I found myself a student of Esoteric Healing--which draws much from the writings of Alice Bailey and other authors of Eastern and Theosophic traditions--I was exposed to the concept of Initiations. I had come across this term before. First in a book by British author Cyril Scott entitled The Initiate: Impressions of a Great Soul, second in the pop novel of Richard Bach's entitled Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah, and finally in an autobigraphical book by Swiss spiritual teacher Elisabeth Haich entitled Initiation. All three of these source books have been referenced or presented in previous Life Is Beautiful blogposts.
     The number of initiations requisite to mastery of spiritual law while in human form has been source to some interpretation and variation. I had heard of five, seven, nine and 12 stages of spiritual awakening--for that is, in effect, what each stage represents: a new level of awareness or awakeness; increased or expanded awareness of the deceits of The Grand Illusions, The Ego, the lightening of the load of Fear and Ignorance. As consciousness is expanded, raised, it is able to use its awareness to build upon and seek further information, to come to grips with that new information, and then, hopefully, put it to use.
     People will ask questions like, "How long will I have to work on this stage, this initiation level, before I can move on to the next one?" And the answer, of course, is: As long as it takes! There is no right or wrong time, no right or wrong initiation level to achieve (or not). There is no failure. Everybody will figure it out. At some point. For some it may take several lifetimes as the lures and attachments to concepts and beliefs in the four-dimensional sensory world may prove more attractive for that individual for a while. Addictions and addictive behaviors are another obstacle thrown into the human equation to make the journey more challenging, more But then, the achievement of success on the climb to spiritual awareness becomes that much more appreciated, that much more rewarding.
     Each stage or initiation can take years or lifetimes. Once focused on a spiritual path, achieving success at recognizing spiritual concepts and laws, the speed in which one travels the path may increase or accelerate. But then there is the separate topic of mastery. Just because a soul has been able to begin to recognize it's True self and the True nature of All Things does not mean that they will have achieved mastery of the use of this knowledge. Mastery may take many other incarnations--and not necessarily human or in the four-dimensional contextual field. Once one has achieved full awareness of spiritual law and the role that the Earth School experience plays in our development (toward Self-realization--which is, ultimately, of course, a return to Unity Consciousness with Our Divine Source) we feel free to use our choices to try other means and methods of working with spiritual law. There is actually a whole other "ladder" of spiritual awareness and achievement over and above that which we work with while in the human form. So, rather than set forth a specific number of initiations that we can and should seek to recognize and achieve and then outline and describe the nature and qualities of each initiation, let me instead describe some of the general tasks or themes we will encounter on the path.
     Remember, the entire journey is about gradually increasing our awareness of Self and spiritual potential. The journey usual begins with social groups--using others, using established traditions and beliefs for. Like choosing clothing, we may find ourselves mentally trying on several different religious mantles--all the while driven by that feeling of what feels right, what feels wrong, what feels like the uncovering of a part of you, a part of your beliefs, that is an internal truth--something that was always there within you but has now been allowed out of the dark, has been given light and life, has been restored to its proper place. The entire path is like this: gradual, incremental revelations of ideas, concepts, truths that were always within you, that have resided within you since before you were born, but need the "work" of seeking, the kick in the but from that ever broadcasting voice from within, the incessant beacon of the Divinity within us, the spiritual Monad.
     "Divine discontent" is an appropriate term used to describe that unsettling feeling in the gut, coming from the unconscious (from the Soul--the beacon of the Monad), that says something isn't quite right, that there is something more, something "deeper" to learn or discover. This is a feeling commonly used by many spiritual travelers to describe their impetus for seeking, for taking risks, for trying new things.
     Though our travels are always our own, the path is never exactly like any one else's, we are able to benefit from the myriad paths that others before us have taken to achieve increasing Self-awareness, an increasing sense of the presence of the energy of our Divine Origins. That is how religions and philosophies, social groups, education, art and literature, dreams and metaphor serve us: as means to revealing little bits of our selves to our selves--so that we can decide if we like and want to stay attached to this part of me or whether we are feeling that we are past that version of our selves, of our "truth," whether we have become "bigger" than that particular formerly-useful piece of information, that that piece of information is no longer useful for our current self-definition.
     It is important to remember that every piece of information you receive is useful: every piece of information that comes into your awareness can help you on your journey to continually define and re-define your self concept, your Self. A piece of information will either be found useful as a welcomed part of you or as an unwelcomed part and therefore something you'd like to change, or it will be determined as something that has no bearing, relevance, or place in our current self-concept--which then leads us to discard it but, at the same time, has helped us to re-define and reassert our current self-definition. This is why we can say that everything in your world--every single piece of information, physically, sensually, psychologically--all of it is offered to you--has been attracted to you by you--specifically for your use. What you choose to do with it is up to you. If you choose to ignore it, that's fine. You will continue to create a contextual field with variations on that same piece of information until it does lead to stimulation--until you are finally ready to receive, pay attention to, and perhaps process it. There is no hurry. There is no right or wrong. You may not even be perceiving information on a conscious level or you may not be ready to process it at the level of significance (remember: every thing is metaphor) you need it. That may take years and many many encounters with the same piece of information. (Which is one reason that Carl Jung would revisit dreams and symbols and synchronous events over and over throughout his lifetime: there could always be more layers and tie-ins with other pieces of information which can in turn reveal different forms of meaning and significance to our ever-expanding concept of Self and world.)
     Another question on people's minds is "Can I fall backwards or regress on my spiritual path?" The answer is a little complicated because it depends on your perspective:  From a spiritual perspective there is no right or wrong; we're all going to get there. And the act of taking on a human bodymind involves committing to a kind of "blank slate" wherein we start at the bottom of the ladder with each incarnation BUT it is usually a much faster climb if spiritual work has been done/accomplished in previous incarnations.
     The other answer to this question "Can I fall backwards or regress on my spiritual path?" is yes, of course! As in Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, we all use all of the information, all of the perspectives from the initiatory ladder. For example, once I've reached the ninth rung of the ladder of initiations I will still find myself from time to time looking at a situation from the perspective of the first or the fifth Initiation. It's all available to me; it's all a part of me. I just don't have access to the perspectives of the initiations ahead of me. Yet.
     Most of the work on the ladder of initiations has to do with getting used to the reception and effects of the presence of the energy of a particular ray from among the rainbow of Cosmic Rays. This is the true secret, the true reason for the existence of the hierarchy of initiations: there are 12 primary and secondary Cosmic Rays. To take on the effects of the presence of the full energies of all of the 12 Rays at once would be quite overwhelming for the feeble human nervous system. Thus, we devised a system by which we could slowly, gradually prepare ourselves for the flood of the presence and then use of the energies of each of the Cosmic Rays, only one at a time. And, there is an ordered sequence to which we expose ourselves. But the Rays will only begin to be fully received within our human vessel if and when we are ready--if and when our Ego allows for the hearing and opening to the Cosmic Beacon, the Voice of Our Soul Plan, once we have actively begun our conscious journey on our own spiritual path.
    Also, there are several initiations that usually prove more difficult for humans in this day and age to work through in this day and age. The first exposure to the energy of Ray 1 can be very unsettling for many and may take a long time to process in order to learn how to work with it. And the exposure to Ray 8 is also unsettling for this is when Spirit is reminding the human that you have the power, that you alone are responsible for your self and your choices and actions, that you no longer need teachers, just as you have never needed teachers because everything, every single piece of information that comes into your awareness and, eventually, into your consciousness was all co-created and attracted to you by you. Once a human recognizes and embraces this fact, one is finally free and able to handle the more refined and specific spiritual energies of the higher initiations. Before this point, the human is still fully and unconsciously connected to a perspective of duality, to the habit of wanting to treat things as "inside" you and "outside" of you, of "here" and "there," "this" and "that," "yours" and "mine," etc. "External" teachers are very important to the human before the eighth initiation. After that the road is much more solitary and yet joyfully holistic and inclusionary.
     Again, the ladders of initiation are merely informations from a variety of systems that allow us to look at our progress--as well as our obstacles--on our spiritual paths. As is the case with any information, use it as you see fit--as it serves you--and disregard that which makes no sense, or that which feels contrary to your beliefs and values. As I have said before many times:  We are all going to get there and There is no right or wrong way, no better or worse path, to the achievement of our goals. Every choice offers us a lesson, the potential for learning, and if we don't get the message the first or ninetieth time it is given to us, it's okay. The messages will keep coming and one day--when we are ready--not when somebody else wants us to be ready--we will get it. And then we will move on to the next message, the next adventure, the next perspective, the next choice.

Everything Is Metaphor: Ray 1 and the Will to be Present The Boney System

The human body’s primary commitment to physical form, that is, to the illusory structure whose concentration and density gives our Consciousness (through the sensory faculties) a foundation in four-dimensional “physicalized” reality, is the boney structure. Commensurate with Abraham Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, some of the other systems “necessary” to the maintenance of the illusion of basic biological survival include the kidneys and urinary system as well as the “fight or flight” hormones produced by the adrenal glands. Collectively, these systems are organized, nourished and fueled by the human biomagnetic field's seventh energy center, the “Root,” “Base,” or “Basic” chakra—which is in turn directing the flow of Cosmic Ray 7, the ray of Order and Ritual into the human form and experience. Ray 7 is, in turn, a derivative and subsidiary of Ray 1, the Ray of Will and Power and Sacrifice. This system of layer upon layer upon layer continues to mirror the fact that information is also built layer over layer, metaphor over metaphor. The fact that the human body--and, in fact, all of physical matter--can be proven to be made up of 99.99999% space (or æther or Love, depending on your point of view) and the rest made up by "tendencies" or "probabilities" of light waves seeming to be acting as particles and, thus, taking up space is illustrative of the illusory nature of our physical, sensory "reality."

     Issues in the boney structure, urinary system, or basic survival instincts can be indicative of emotional issues over physical security and safety and are often related to the Ego/Personality’s willing ness to commit to the rules and laws of four-dimensional Earth-supported human form. Some spirits simply lack the will and courage to fully commit to being fully present and fully committed to life on Earth, life in physical form, life in a Homo sapiens sapiens vehicle. It’s a lot of work! It takes a lot of will power and sacrifice to remain fully committed to this “adventure ride.” Some people want to get off the rollercoaster while it is in progress, some are reluctant to get on in the first place and have trouble feeling comfortable much less fully committed to the project. Some cannot help but want to test the rules and boundaries that they have agreed to contractually in order to take on a Earth-based human body. Others have, of course, purposely taken on human vehicle with pre-ordained weaknesses, shortcomings or deformities in order to challenge themselves or as a sacrifice as part of a favor or an agreement play a certain role in order to help with the growth of someone else in their Soul Family or Soul Group. 

     Broken bones and dis-eases that affect the boney structure are often the Soul’s way of reminding the Ego/Personality to slow down, to pay more attention to the myriad forms of information bombarding the Conscious Mind—all of which has been created and attracted to the individual for the express purpose of giving that Conscious Mind the opportunity to learn and grow in Self-awareness and Self-realization. 

     Urinary tract issues--which are also issues of the Basic or Root Chakra, the densest realization of and commitment to the human experience--may be created as messages of more personal self-reflection—to question the mindfulness of the actions and activities we are running through (often too quickly or, contrarily, with too much self-absorption). When kidneys shut down, we die. When adrenals act, we think that we are fighting for our very lives--on a very basic level of physical illusion, for physical existence. Ray 1, the Ray of Will and Power and Sacrifice is the governing Ray of our commitment to the illusion of physical embodiment and physical "reality."

    A challenge that is quite common to souls who have chosen to incarnate into 21st Century technological society is that of sympathetic overdrive, that is, the way we have chosen to pattern our lives and our perception of “needs” and “priorities” have caused many humans to get stuck—literally—in the “fight or flight” mode of operations. That is, we go around thinking that everything, every moment, contains a high-stress, life-threatening situation which then requires us to be prepared for immediate radical response—fight or flight! The problem with this is that the human organism that we have opted into for our use is wired for about one-to-three ratio of “fight or flight” versus “relaxation” response time in terms of energy expenditure. For every 15 minutes of high energy “fight or flight” response time the body needs about 45 minutes of down time in order to rest, heal, and regenerate from the short bursts of intense output. Is this the pattern that our world has created for us? Not really. According to this formula a person working under, I assume, stressful conditions, for eight hours a day should get 16 to 24 hours of rest and relaxation to make up for the energy expenditure. Is this how your life is patterned? No wonder we have so many stress-induced and stress-related conditions and diseases. 

     Think of a dog or a cat. They may “work” intensely for a short period of time but then they lay down and take a lot of naps. (And they always stretch when they wake up.) And these animals lay and nap far more hours per day than they are active (in general; if they are a healthy, happy animal). Granted, some animals are bred and built for more up time, but these are usually and often have shorter lifetimes than the average of their species. Or else these are creatures who have an inordinate amount of Ray 1 (the Ray of Will and Power) flowing through them. The same can be true with humans. Some human souls are “constructed” to have more full flow (less issues and/or obstacles) in specific Rays—especially within the three Primary Rays (1, 2, and 3). As a gross generalization to help illustrate this point, a person who expresses a particularly domineering or indomitable will is probably fairly open and unfettered in the flow of Ray 1. A person who is very much living in his or her mind and who is exceedingly quick and willing to grow and change belief systems is probably flowing fairly strong Ray 3 (the Ray of Knowledge and Information). A person who seems immeasurable patient and detached from outcomes, is able to always "go with the flow" with grace and infectious calm is probably strongly imbued with an open flow of Ray 2, the Ray of Love and Wisdom.

     The problem with using language to describe spiritual and Cosmic traits and qualities is that our language changes. Subtly, often imperceptibly, but it changes. What meant "Love and Wisdom" or "Will, Power and Sacrifice" to writers a century or a millenium ago means something quite different today. We tend to filter our interpretations and definitions according to our societal norms and references instead of trying to consider what they may mean from a nonhuman, nonphysical perspective. Take the word "sacrifice." Our first inclination is to probably assign it a meaning associated with giving something up--such as life, a privilege, or a possession. From a spiritual perspective "sacrifice" quite literally means "to make something sacred." The power and influence of Ray 1 imbues us with the will and power to try to make everything, every moment, every thought, every perception, one of sacredness. It connotes a remembering that every thing, every moment, every thought, every perception is but a simple reminder of the Divinity or Godness that is representative, that is inherent in those things, moments, thoughts, and perceptions.
     Likewise, "Love and Wisdom" from a spiritual perspective is not meant to list the people or things we love or to judge the way in which we love them. Spiritual Love and Wisdom have to do with the embracing, accepting, and incorporating love without condition, without judgment, in every moment, in every thought, in every action, and detaching from the conditions and judgments that we have with regards to "right and wrong" "better and worse" "truth and fiction" "light and darkness," "good and evil" and all other concepts that we have created for our use in this contextual field that is Dualistic Cosmic Creation. "Love" and "wisdom" are but qualitative assignations to the effect of Cosmic Ray 2, the spiritual ray of embracing The Great Plan and all of the Lesser Plans that We individuated spiritual beings have devised to serve Our creative desires of action and adventure. Ray 1 is the designation given the energy flow that respectfully empowers The Great Plan and all of the Lesser Plans. Ray 3 is the designation given to the flowing energy of knowledge and information--or "knowledge in formation"--which we then use for the devising and carrying out of our Plans. The Plans, of course, all conform to various rules and restrictions according to the various levels of illusional "separation" from our Divine Source of Oneness that we have created in order to experience all of the Grand Illusions of Cosmic Creation. The boney system is but one illusory system devised to enable spiritual beings participation in the illusion of the human experience on the illusory world of four dimensional space and time on the illusory place we call planet Earth. Even our seemingly individuated consciousness as spiritual beings is but an illusion. We, each of "us," no matter what state or form of beingness that we associate our individual selves with, is but the temporary guise or perspective from the crest of a wave from within the Great Cosmic Ocean of Divine Unity Conscious--which is our true form and true "self." The "We" designation is perhaps more accurate than "I" though in fact there is no separation and therefore no subjective or objective, no here or there, no this or that. We are. We are all just "us." We are. The bones of the human body are constructs of the Greater Imagination that seem to serve as representations for the Will and Power and willingness to make sacred this commitment to the four-dimensional human experience. Use them as you wish. Use the human experience as you wish. Use your Higher Mind as you wish. Use anything and everything in Creation as you wish:  You helped create it!

Random Acts of Wakefulness

More and more frequently I find myself consciously realizing that everything I do, everything I sense, everything I think, is part of The Game--part of the contextual field of Grand Illusions that We have created to test, challenge, entertain, and amuse our Selves. In using these "grand illusions" we are perpetuating our immersion and valuation of the Field of Illusions--we are cementing and perpetuating our möbius strip-like entrapment in such illusions as separation, individuality, identity, objectivity and subjectivity, sensory data, and information sharing when in truth, in fact, it is ALL false, it is all illusory, made up--not REAL! The only true reality is the Oneness of Divine Consciousness, the Unifying Presence of Divine Love, the Cosmic Wholeness of Divine Is-ness. The rest is all product of Divine Imagination--and what an imagination We have!
     Anyway, as a result of this realization I am trying to figure out how best to spend or focus my time and energy on this planet while I am still in choice of using this Drew Fisher bodymind. I am looking to invest my energies into pursuits that A) don't bore me to tears, and B) might help others to see the "reality" of our Grand Field of Dreams and Illusions.
     I could go around doing random acts of odd and mischievous destruction, kindness, or confusion in order to provoke people into looking at things--at life--from different perspectives. But that would put my freedom to continue helping to provide test material for others in jeopardy. Or, writer that I am, I could conjure up anecdotal incidents of "random acts that provoke wakefulness" and write and publish them. Like a journal or travel log, each day I could post a mind-bending vignette that might catch readers unawares, might make them step back and think. My goal is to shake people out of their comfort zones, to provoke them into having to consider points of view outside of their own usual responses, to shake loose the resistance to change, expansion and growth in individuals' values and beliefs, to expose the unhealthy limitations, stubborn fixations, and precariousness of all perspectives we might use.
     For some exciting adventures into new and different perspectives on life and living, check out my new blogpost, "Random Acts of Provocation," at randomactsofprovocation.bogspot.com.